Good Fathers make Great Men

Parenthood is a huge step. It is a stage in life that extends well beyond procreation. It is a responsibility that should not be taken for granted, and I firmly believe that this stage should only be embarked upon when one is emotionally, spiritually and mentally prepared for all that it entails.

Traditionally, in some societies, the actual care for the children in a home has been relegated to the wife and mother with the father assuming the responsibility for finances.

As the world changes, however, we have seen that this has become more blended as women actively contribute to home finances and as men become more cognizant of the roles they play in shaping their children's social learning which contributes to the lives they then lead as adults.

In today's world, with all of the learning that we have been exposed to over the past generations, I think that fathers cannot afford to just be financial providers while being emotionally absent from a home. A father is not just a chequebook. Similarly, a father is not just a disciplinarian. A father is a role model who should be present in the home, loved, respected, and trusted.

A daughter's first love, a son's role model

A father's role in a home is critically important and I am always happy to see fathers who are present and active in the lives of their children. Fathers must earn their children's trust and love and must treat them like their most precious possessions.

For a young girl, her father is a provider, a protector, and a teacher. He is her first impression of what a man should be, and the way he treats her and her mom sets the standard for the way she expects to be treated when she grows up. He sets the bar.

The macho image of a distant father is an unhealthy social construct which we should all reject. A father should be his daughter's chief supporter, actively involved in her hobbies and showing a genuine interest, love and support for the things she is interested in.

Similarly, for sons, men are role models, and their social learning is influenced by the examples their fathers set. Fathers can teach their sons confidence, respect, competence, responsibility, discipline, stability, perseverance and partnership. They can deconstruct the false images and expectations surrounding manhood and show that men are human and that it's okay for men to display healthy emotions.

Parenthood is not just Procreation

This might be a controversial perspective, but I believe that parenthood is not just procreation. It is a huge decision and responsibility that should never be taken for granted- by either a father or a mother. Once you become a parent, your life changes forever and it is no longer just about you but about precious charges now in your care and for whom you will be responsible for the rest of your lives.

Children need strong and stable and responsible parents. Mothers play equally important roles in their children's social learning, and either parent may have to fill in for the other if, for some reason, one parent is absent.

I opened my post with the heading good fathers make great men. This is true. But it's not just fathers. I think that good parents make good communities and healthy societies. And so, as individuals, if we ever decide to take the step to become parents, this is what we should aspire to: to be good or even great parents. Future generations depend on it.