I accidentally listened to Troye Sivan’s song which is Youth. It was released on 2016, but listening to the song again made me think of a lot of things. Racking my brain for my teenage memories I suddenly realized how boring it was or the things I’ve missed from the past.
I probably don’t have the same childhood from the other Filipino teens, I spend my childhood indoors playing with my older sister or mostly by myself. I don’t remember playing hide and seek till night with my neighbors and other famous games in the Philippines. I have toys, but I was prohibited to go outside when its night time. I can only play with them in front of our house and whatnot. You guys might think that I’m overreacting or whatsoever, but upon hearing the fun and exciting experiences of my classmates today whenever they reminisce their childhood memories makes me want to go back in time and maybe break the rules a little bit?
Even today, I stick by the rules like a magnet. I do my best at school, go home in time, don’t party, drink, or smoke. I’m really grateful for my parents (even though they’re a little bit more strict), I wouldn’t be this person today if it weren’t for them. Though there are times I find their rules unnecessary and over the top (I follow them nonetheless) You must be asking if I ever broke the rules, and yes there was a time and it was only when I dated a guy before 18. It was clearly stated by my Father that I was prohibited in dating and I should focus on my studies more, but it was all in the past. If I were to go back I’d probably do the same thing because I wouldn’t learn the lessons and I wouldn’t grow more as a person if I haven’t experienced the excruciating pain of heartbreak.
Sticking to the rules means being away from troubles and a normal person should be thankful for that and I am, but I always has this feeling that If I were to live a second life I’d probably be a Rebel and do everything that I want without caring for other peoples opinion. I dream of having tattoos on several parts of my body (neck, waist, and side boob) not to pose as cool but I love expressing myself on art and having a permanent tattoo on your body reminds you of who you are as a person at least that’s how I perceive it if I’ll have one. I want to have a piercing on my belly button and several piercing on both of my ears since I really find it sexy and attractive. I’d want to enjoy a party with my girlfriends without caring for other peoples perception of my actions, I just want to have fun and enjoy my life as long as I’m alive. Not to be a bitch or slut who’ll hook up with several guys I really just want to achieve these things. Well I’m still young I guess when I’m a little bit older I could achieve this after pleading for my parents approval. (Fun fact: Being 18 doesn’t mean anything when you have Filipino parents)
Yes, other girls can do these things without being called as Rebel, but from the background of our Family who totally hates the idea of girls partying and having several tattoos and piercings it’s Rebellion. I don’t despise our families culture but there are just times where I want to do things on my own as a single being.
Out of the topic, I want to go back in my childhood days to create a more memorable and happy moments but on the contrary I’m really astounded to the amount of kids who act as adults nowadays. Most of them have gadgets which on my own opinion are too much possession for a kid who should be running and playing with their friends. They even engage in relationships?! Lol but really kids, enjoy your childhood. Cry for ice cream not for a boy you’re crushing on there are a lot of things you can do, act on your age okay?
So I guess that's it. I really don’t know what this is all about but I suddenly have the urge to write about this so I didn’t the miss the chance for this. I’d probably do a series of my random thoughts so I hope you guys enjoy it
Anyways I guess that’s enough blabbering for today. I hope you understand my messy thoughts and ideas
I really just want to express my nonsense feeling …
