I love peace, I dislike stress. We all dislike stress. Thousands keep dying daily but somehow we manage to be alive. All praise is due to the Almighty. Thank you Lord.
Many are sad, some are happy, while few can't even describe their moods.
I feel guilty for not executing my plans correctly but nobody seems to care.
I've been in pains for months now, soliloquizing, praying and trying to find a way forward.
I don't have a niche, I consider myself to be a jack of all trade. And now I'm a master of none.
I felt I'd get betrayed, and I got betrayed by friends I could take a bullet for any day and anytime.
With the increasing crises in every corner of the Earth, sometimes I don't think I'll ever find peace on the planet.
I'm currently in seclusion, some friends want to implicate me. The race for money and success amongst youth is brain draining.
Every opportunity seems a nice one but truly most are dangerous, pure illusions.
If only we could look beyond the trying times, focus on our goals, tweak the old goals, and form new ones. Then we can plan on it, and aim to achieve it.
My dad has been a focal point in my life, his words and actions has motivated me to do more but the pressure he puts on me the last time lead to my downfall. I did everything to please the family, thereby displeasing myself. And later I realized that all I've done would have been done better by someone else if I wasn't there.
I understand that parents wants the best for their children but your words mould them. I've spent 11months with my parents and I'm not happy staying with them. I want to leave home as soon as I can but with the increasing covid 19 cases, it can't be possible.
I'm trying not to lose my mind, I also want to break up with my girlfriend. I see no reason why I should be in a relationship that makes me sad. I don't think I love her but I like her. I don't know how to tell her it's over. Why is it so hard to tell everyone how I feel?
I'm sure if I start telling those around me my exact feelings majority would run away from me. They would all think I'm crazy. My parents do say that I am a hard child but I've proved them wrong countlessly by achieving success both in my academics and entrepreneurship loop. They say I have a bad attitude but deep down I know what I'm doing. Currently I'm yet to get my haircut, and they've started complaining. It's my hair I do not feel like getting it shaved.
My hair is the least of my problems right now, moreover it's not even up to a month since I last cut it. My friends think I'm no longer social because I rarely chat with them like i used to. Questions keeps popping in my head. Questions like
How do I sustain myself?
What do I do?
Who do I ask for help?
How do i move on?
How do I end a relationship without hurting the other person?
I just want to have peace, cut off every bit of distraction, remove unnecessary things from my life. I want to live a worthy life. I won't call these depression. I'm not depressed, I'm angry at the mistakes I've made in the past, and correcting them would hurt a lot of people. If I correct them (which I will) I know a lot of people would be disappointed and some would leave. I had made promises, breaking them would be painful to those people. I hope they understand and heal quickly because I strongly believe that doing the right thing is a bold step towards achieving supreme peace. I need peace, supreme peace, and comfort. I want to live a comfortable life.
So help me dear God🙏
This is not a poem. This is me writing out my feelings and thoughts, my pain and anger, my desirye and my worries.
This is me reminding myself that I need to do the right thing. I need to find peace and comfort. And this is a reminder for you,whatever circumstance you find yourself in. It's good to think about it but don't overthink. When plan A fails, you still have 25 others to pick from. Find peace, joy, and comfort. Live a worthy life because you only live once!
