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Bigger Than Me

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Written by   10
1 year ago

My eyes are sore but my mind isn't. My legs are in pains but my arms are willing to do more. This feeling isn't strange. This feeling of change, a type of change that I can't give correct answers to, I know it will all pass one day.

It is big, challenging, frustrating and energy consuming.

Trying to get some sleep but my mind won't let me just like every other day since the beginning of the year. There are a lot of things to be done, Starting isn't the problem, my mindset is ready to work but my body isn't in a good shape. My eyes and my legs are in pains. Though I still push daily and accomplish little tasks and most times I just don't wanna quit trying.

This feeling is bigger than me.

The change i spoke about was long needed, I've felt it for a long time now and I now I can finally see it taking its toll. Happiness during the day and sadness at night. I smile in the midst of people but when I'm alone, I'm always in tears, tears which no longer roll down my cheeks. Tears with no water in it. Deep tears.

This feeling is bigger than me.

Friends no longer seem like friends anymore, they are more like strangers now with the majority trying to extort me in while I gain nothing in return. Oh I gain something, betrayal, pain and hatted. That's what they give to me in return.

This feeling is bigger than me.

I'm already loosing passion, so much passion that I no longer find joy in the things I love. My hobbies are now rubbish. Practically useless to me, perhaps useful to someone else.

This feeling is bigger than me.

This feeling is giving me sleepless nights.

This feeling is healing me internally, as I begin to payless attention to what's going on in my society. This feeling is trying to reach me something, perhaps how to utilize my time, balance my lifestyle, or just to keep staying calm, shutting my eyes and turning my back to the world.

This feeling is not normal.

This feeling is not depression.

This feeling looks crazy.

Whichever form it takes, this feeling is bigger than me.

This is not a poem, once again this is me pouring out my late night thoughts into the clouds. Perhaps the Almighty would send a message. A comfort message or a more clearer meaning to all these feelings before they run me mad.

I think I'd have to go to war with this feeling before it consume me. This feeling is not me at all.

This feeling is truly bigger than me but I pray for divine intervention, and I hope to win this war against the feelings.

This feeling is a grand Master.

This feeling is bigger, better and stronger than me but I'll fight it till my last breath goes....

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Written by   10
1 year ago
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