When Sandra came home that evening, she was first filled with guilt, guilt of what she had allowed to happen earlier in the afternoon. She closed the door to the living room after she stepped in and greeted her parents who were busy watching the evening news, her father who was so engrossed in what the reporter was saying didn't hear her but her mother responded.
"Welcome, how was practice?"
"Was stressful, my legs are aching already. I just go and rest."
"Ok, your food is in the food flask!" She heard her mother yell after her.
"Ok!" She yelled back, making her way up the stairs and to be room.
She stepped in and shut the door before falling limply on the soft matress, burying her head into her pillow. She wanted to scream, she felt bad. No, she did not feel bad, she just felt strange and she tried to clear the images and memories from her head but they wouldn't go. She suddenly felt shy and she blushed.
Her phone vibrated under her and she rolled over to pick her phone, looking to the screen to see the caller, heat rose to her cheeks and she cleared her voice before swiping to receive the call.
"Hey." Her voice came out as a whisper.
"Hey, how are you?" He asked calmly.
"I'm ok. I just got home not long ago."
"Ohh ok, good. You're safe home."
"Yea."
There was a shirt awkward silence after that and Sandra didn't know what else to say. She placed her chin on the pillow and imagined his smiling face, his cute small lips and his piercing gaze on her.
"How are you?" She asked. She heard him chuckle before he replied.
"I'm good too. Very good, just ate."
"And I'm not even feeling hungry myself."
"Seriously? You should eat o."
She blushed at his care for her and she nodded like he could see her head movement.
"Maybe I'll eat later, when I'm hungry. But not now."
"Ok." He replied and kept quiet. Sandra knew he wanted to say something but just couldn't find a way, maybe he wanted to talk about what happened earlier in the afternoon. Should she ask him?
"You want to say something Tony?"
"Erm...yes..."
"About what happened this afternoon?" She swallowed, did she really want to hear it from him??
He laughed a little. "Somehow. Kinda. I'm sorry about that though."
Sorry?? Why?? She felt sad but laughed so he could hear. "Haha, sorry for what?"
"I didn't know it was your first, so I might have hurt you."
"Ohh that. Haha, it's alright, the pain will go away. I'm happy it was with you." She blushed heavily and rolled on the bed, using the pillow to cover her face, she couldn't understand why she was feeling shy again.
"But I hope you're fine Sandra."
"I will be. I am." She paused. "Thank you."
"Ok, if you say so."
"Anything else?" She wanted to know what he felt, how he felt for her. She wanted to hear him say.
"Sandra..." He called.
"Yes Tony?"
"I think we should go on a break."
For a mili second, she could hear nothing, the whole place went dead silent and she couldn't believe what he just said.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean...this relationship, let's go on a break."
She felt her eyes tear up. "Why?"
"We will both be returning to school and I can't deal with a long distance relationship, maybe when we return from school we can continue...?"
Was she hearing right?? Was this Tony? Her boyfriend of two months. The tears came down now as what happened in the afternoon came to her.
She had gone to his house and unfortunately, or fortunately, he was the only one at home at that time. They talked and played and ate and kissed and everything was going slowly at first but it quickly heated up. She wanted to stop, she knew she should have stopped but she was eighteen and her hormones had spread over her body, making goose bumps to rise. She had loved the way he touched her, she loved the places he touched her and when she had allowed him come into her she screamed. He had stared at her in surprise, she hadn't told him she was still a virgin but he still didn't want to stop and neither did she. She thought that after this they would be closer. It was supposed to be. Now he wanted them to go on a break?
"Ok, yes." She spoke, trying hard not to sniffle so he wouldn't know she was hurting. "Err... Tony, I have to go now, let's talk tomorrow ok? Bye." She didn't wait for a response before ending the call and she cried into the pillow until she fell asleep.