When do you choose yourself?
**“When do you choose yourself?”**
If you’re a breadwinner, you can always hear this kind of question. I, as the breadwinner of the family, this question sometimes awakens the weakest part of me; an emotion that I keep hiding. Whenever someone asks me this question, I somehow pity myself for not having the guts to choose myself and make myself a priority. And I can’t even answer them directly.
But to justify the question, I answered them “I’d rather sacrifice myself than see my family suffer, my satisfaction is their happiness and that happiness can never be taken away from me” – This answer surely I know that this came deep from my heart. It sounds so selfless, but it’s all true.
Sometimes, I feel bothered about this question. And whenever I’m alone, I ask myself the word “when”. I’m just a human. I am capable of feeling any of my emotions and I think it’s somehow valid. There are days that I feel suffocated and exhausted, especially when I feel unappreciated and alone. I feel drained and frustrated whenever I feel no one notices my efforts. I feel sad and my heart crumples whenever I feel tired, but no one cares. I cried a lot, and I wanted to run to someone who I could cry on. I want to breathe so deeply, and shout everything that burdens me.
But being a breadwinner, though these emotions are valid somehow, my purpose in life and my goal awaken my heart and mind. And as I look around, my family, the main reason for my struggles enlightens me, again and again, every time that I lose in my track. And the questions that they keep asking me, become also my motivation to get through.
And as I realize for everything that I have, I am blessed because God chose me to be the breadwinner of the family. I am blessed because God uses me to share what I have. He gives me reasons. He shows me my goals in life, and direct me to the path where I can be useful in His glory. It’s alright to feel sad, to feel weak sometimes. It’s alright to cry and to call someone when you feel heavy. It’s alright to find someplace to find peace and release the stress. It’s okay not to be okay, but the most important thing is not giving up. Remember why you started and how long you’ve come so far to give up.
For everyone whose carrying all the burdens, you’re not alone. Remember that all of your struggles will be pay off soon. The more pain you can feel it gives you more reasons to be happy. We may not understand the struggles that we have right now; but always remember that God knows all your troubles, and He will always by your side, as what He said in the Bible in the book of **Isaiah 41:10 “ So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”.** This verse reminds us to keep going, for He is always there for us; we don’t have to be afraid because He will help us throughout. You can always choose yourself first, but living your life with others is worth living.
**Remember that you are chosen with a purpose, and you live with a purpose!**
Disappointments lead you to redirection!
Sometimes, what we prayed and planned will never happen as what we are expecting from it. And we often hear some rants of people when they are disappointed with the result that they are dreaming for a long time. The word **disappointment** means sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hope or expectations.
Most of the people live in too much expectation which they believed that these things are what they need in fulfilling their desires in life here on earth. They planned and look forward to the possible outcomes without considering the process along with it. Their desires in life are somewhat frequently contradicted by what God is wanted for them.
Disappointments are caused by too much expecting to something. When their expectations and the results do not match, disappointment happens. Your expectations may be too high for the situation so even if you think those expectations are appropriate but not be realistic at all. The unwillingness to accept the fact and reality trigger anger especially in those who are obsessed with everything. And when anger happens, you lose a lot of interest in everything that you’re dreaming of. If you don’t know how to cope up or how with disappointments, the continuous manifestation of unmet expectations gives a big impact on someone’s behavior such as depression, denial, and fear.
But did you know that there are certain circumstances that disappointments are ways of God to say ***“My child, that’s not what you need, that’s not what or how should be done”.*** Somehow, disappointments lead you to redirection. **Redirection** defines the action of directing something to a new or different place or purpose. Sometimes God redirects you to lead you and guide you to the best direction of your life. Redirection lets you see that you’re not on the right path or able you to feel from within what you need to improve in order to make it happen. Redirection gives you a clearer perspective; you should be reminded that disappointments can give you new and better opportunities.
Maybe you cannot easily understand why or how God’s redirect you, better believe that these disappointments are the way of God to knock on your heart that is not how he planned things for you. God’s rejection is His way of redirecting you to get through it. It is somehow a course correction of everything. So when something doesn’t work out as how you planned for it, there’s something better coming your way. Though it’s difficult to believe from where you stand, sometimes this redirection leads you away from problems you could not predict and you could never imagine. These disappointments lead you to a lesson learned that is beneficial to your growth as a human.
Disappointments are somehow blessings in disguise. It maybe appears bad at first, but it results in something very good in the end. All your sacrifices and efforts will throw you on journeys you never planned and dreamed of. Always be reminded that disappointments lead you to redirection.
Happiness depends on your mindset!
Happiness depends upon us. We are living our whole life chasing happiness. Others believe that having material things makes them happy. Some people think having a degree, having a perfect job, friends and family is a life. There are also people who believe that financially stable is a real thing that makes them happy. We can see that there are people have this all, but still they can't find the real happiness in life.
This is because, while you are busy searching for more happiness, the more you forgot about being contented for the things that you have. You neglect to celebrate small things that happening around you. You rejected the things in front of you. The more you chase for happiness, the more you cannot find it. Happiness depends on yourself, and how you see things matters.
So if you’re searching for true happiness in life, you need to:
**Be positive**!
Being positive means is being hopeful and confident. Thinking about the good aspects of situation rather than the bad ones. What you think is what you become, so if you choose to be happy then you’ll be happy and if you choose to be sad then you’ll be sad. You should start your day with a positive vibes. Positive vibes attracts positive auras. Happiness depends on you, so if you want to be happy, stay positive and be positive always and in all ways.
**Do what you want to do on life!**
Being happy is somehow doing something you want to do in life. Life is stressful if we don’t love what we are doing. This stress can give you lack of interests for everything. So it’s very necessary for you to do what you want to make yourself happy in every single day. Do everything with passion.
**Live the moment!**
Stop worrying about the past and the things that will happen for the next more days. Live your life to the fullest, love your life at the moment! Try to cherish every minute, every hour that you have. Focus on reality and your presence in that specific time. Enjoy every seconds of your life.
**Be with the people you love!**
Being happy is being with your love ones. And everything is worth living for because of them. Your happiness depends on them. They are indeed your strength that gives meaning for everything. They are inspirations that give you reasons to pursue everything you want and need. So being around them can really make your life happy.
**Celebrate the little moments!**
Being contented to everything is a key to happiness. If you’re happy about little things then you’re deserve to something bigger. Even if we face a lot of struggles and hardships you should not ignore the little things that you have. Cherish everything and choose to be happy all the time.
Being happy depends on your mindset. Happiness is not about having material things in this world; happiness is about being contented to anything. Happiness is about listening to your heart and following your desires in life. Do not be hard on yourself in finding happiness, happiness is always about embracing the person you we’re becoming because of your mindset. You cannot find happiness to others, but yourself. It was always about you.
Thank you for reading! God bless you all. Smile and be happy! 😊
@TeacherJen
