Cat Diaries Discoveries

So, I'm a cat. You needn't be so high and mighty just because you bipedals think you own the planet. Hey, we have nine lives and though we may not come back in the same body, our other eight journeys mean we've seen a lot. I remember the five lives I've lived so far, and man was always a bit up himself! I know it seems harsh, maybe a touch too sensitive for your delicate egos to take in, but it needed to be said.

Now I love my human. She's always ready to put me food down with minimal prompting, and super ready with the petting and ear rubs. I thrive on her company for the most part, but we both would admit, we need to lead separate lives. I love my night life, she loves her days. In a lot of ways that compliments each other, for when one wishes to sleep there's minimal disturbance. Okay, I may purr in her ear and knead her with my claws when she's not waking and I'm particularly hungry. But by the same token she's ignoring me if I'm on the window sill outside meowing to come in. We've learned to live with each other's little faults and accept we aren't all purrfect.

What I find curious about bipedals is their funny little rituals. I've watched while you do the most curious things. For instance when my human has plucked and shaved off all her fur just because her current mate comes round to stay the weekend. We cats love our fur and keep it in good condition. I've watched curiously as she uses hot irons and steam devices on her hair, torturing it into place then applying a blowing machine to finally spray it with this stuff that holds all. Us cats just use our deft paws and catspit to clean ours and style it, and we always look our best. I'm never sure why she bothers as we all know two minutes after stepping outside on a windy day it's all ruined anyway. Or two minutes after shutting her bedroom door with him on the inside and she's generally in total disarray too!

Another odd thing is bipedal eating habits. My meal is delivered by an early warning sign of a shake of a box if I'm outside, followed by some dry treats. Or by some jelly like cold substance plonked unceremoniously in a bowl. Don't you humans know we too like to have our food served on fine china not some plastic dish? Aren't we worthy of clean dishes and bowls and fresh water or milk with each meal time? I've watched my own human prepare her meal that takes sometimes an hour, and then she picks at it like a bird pecking at grain. A cat would never do that, we wolf it down as you can never be too sure when and if your next meal is coming. Besides, the faster you eat it the more chance your human can be coaxed into a guilt trip to give you more. I find lots of extra leg rubs and plaintive pitiful cries of meow generally do the job. It's alarming what gets thrown away, they might at least have the good grace to allow us first licking before it's discarded.

The other odd habit of humans is their seating arrangements. They sit in front of this illumined box taking up all the good seats. We cats like to sit in warm comfortable spots, and when we find them, to allow our body mass to sprawl out and occupy as much space as we can claiming our territory. Now we may circle a few times to get the feel of a place, and if you happen to be in the way of our sharp claws we don't mean to hurt. But why are bipedals always fidgeting? Getting up, sitting down, reaching, stretching, moving constantly? Us cats learn to occupy space and time, to claim our haven and enjoy the moment. We may clean and preen ourselves whilst resting, but there's no excuse for poor hygeine. I wish some of my human's friends felt that way! But on the whole we can be content to sprawl, yet it's generally short lived with the ups and downs of humans always on the go.

Now I once saw the saddest thing in my cat history. A human with a cat on a lead. It depressed me for a month thinking of that poor feline shamed into servitude as it it were a canine. Cats don't need to be led, we are the leaders, the seekers, the life's adventurers. Whilst you bipedals sleep we are out seeking and exploring. We know your environment and venture further than you think. But there's nowhere you can lead us where we would get lost. We have keen hearing and see in some colour like you humans. We see shades of blue and green, but reds and pinks can be confusing. Things can look a little faded too as hues and saturation isn't as sharp to us...but still, we don't need marching around on a lead!

We don't need to be shown and held captive on your leashes. Yet the sorriest thing was the poor feline was dressed like a human. Oh sweet Kittylitters, why would a human want to dress a feline up? Of course canines are ugly creatures and any disguise is a blessing, but ours are natural looks. We count our blessings our coats are well groomed and our fur is uniquely coloured. I once saw a cat with no fur, but even that still walked about with grandeur daring any human or canine to scoff. A cat never would, we have poise and dignity in our breeding. A cat should never have to suffer the indignity of wearing miniature human clothing, nor be put on a lead. The jury is still out on the use of cat baskets!

Now dear readers, I know this is the briefest insight into my world. I don't say it to shame you, but I haven't even gotten to the best bits yet. My thoughts on your gardens, your work habits and why your little ones know they can get away with more than we can. They learn a lot from us, but then they seem to adapt better to their environments than the adults do. I hope I shall get chance to come back and paws a while in contemplation, and give you more insights into cat observations. But for now, enough to say, be kind to your cat or those who come greet you, and show them the respect they undoubtedly deserve.