Our home is the first place where we should feel the love, care, happiness, safeness and it should be the most comfortable place for us. But what if the house where you considered as your home are also the place where you feel very uncomfortable, stressed and the worst part, is the cause of your depression? How can you survived if the the people whom you should run for whenever you have a problems are the one who'll also put your feelings down?.
In no particular order, here are the signs that will help you clear your mind if ever you're still in doubt if your parebts are toxic or not.
They keep on comparing you to other people.
I've read a lot of posts like this on facebook, and I can relate myself with this because before, when one of my cousin from my father's side got her new job as a non-voice virtual assistant from a well known company, my family especially my father and uncle started to compare me with her, that I should imitate her, that I should be like her and I should also apply for a job like what she currently have etc.
Parents, you must never ever do this to your childrens, be sensitive enough to know all the words that you will say to them, as they will make your child feel like they're weak and worthless just because you are comparing them to someone who has a different life from them.
Being a manipulative parents is like putting a bird in a small cage where he/she can't fly by themselves freely. Just like raising a child, they will not know who they really are if their life and decisions are in controlled by others.
Parents, just like a bird, they are made to fly and explore the every braches of different trees, let your childrens explore the world but never forget to guide them as well. Let them do the things they love, the experiences is the best teacher so in this way, you are also molding your childrens to become a great person someday.
They want you to respect them but they never respected you as their child.
This is one of the most toxic traits of most of the parents that I've encountered in my whole life including my own father. As what they say "If you want to be respected, then respect others as well". Sadly, there's a lot of parents who feel very superior to their childrens to the extent that they doesn't even respect their child's rights because what they only believe is "I am your parent, you owe me anything that's why you should always respect me". Regardless of how wrong it is to their child still, they want your respect.
You are hesitated to share your problems or even accomplishments to them.
If you feel this way, it's just the fruit of how they were raised you. Because of they teach you to become comfortable with them telling your problems, you won't feel this way now. Also, the other reason is that you already know what would be the bad comments you are going to receive from them once you shared it so you often suffer from silence and keeps it only to yourself for so long.
They always throw hurtful and swear words at you regardless of how big or small mistakes you have made.
Parents, saying hurtful words to your children won't make them learn from their mistakes. Instead, talk to them personally until they realized all the things and finally learned something from their mistakes. Shouting and throwing swear words at them are not really helpful.
Seeing their children as their retirement plan
Some parents forgot that their child needs to have their own life too. So they'll end up feeling mad or dissappointed to their child once it didn't gave them the support that they were asking.
Just like my own father, he always says hurtful words to my older brother who's currently working abroad everytime my kuya fails to send us money every month. I pitty my kuya, because he's already 25 years old yet he still don't have savings for his future. But we can't do anything but to accept the reality of our life with our father.
Personally, I was raised by having a father who are really bad at parenting. Until now, I can't go out of my comfort zone because he's the one who will let me feel that I'm weak, he always telling me that I can't do this certain thing because I'm dumb, weak and are afraid of people even though I already told them a hundred times that I can do it.
Sad to say this is the reality to most of the parents nowadays. A lot of anak like me are suffering from this situation too. Kaya pakatatag lang tayo ♡.
Do you think that you are experiencing these things too? You can share your experiences down there.
That's all for today's article!
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You can read some of my articles if you have some time ♡.
Have a great day wonderful people!.