The more I become mature in life, the more I realize how bad my parents raised us. During my childhood to teen age years, I thought defending myself is bad, that it was considered as being arrogant once we defended ourselves to someone older from us. They've just taught us that we don't have the rights to disagree with them as long as we haven't helped them with our own money. I thought that the violence and hurtful words were the best and the only way to discipline a child once they've done a mistake wether it is big or small.
Sadly, I was raised that way...
Looking back at my childhood was like a nightmare. If ever someone asks me if I want to go back from the past, I would say "No" for a hundred times to them. I became more introvert because of what I've experienced from my own parents especially my father. Yes, he gave us clothes, he feed us, we're able to attend school because of his money given to us but he always counts his sacrifices to us everytime we did some mistake. Yelling at us with full of swear words and once we defend ourselves he will just start hurting us physically and will continue saying what he just wants to say without considering what we're gonna feel from those words.
He never cared for our feelings, after hurting us physically and emotionally, we have no rights to be mad at him as we are just being rude once we show it to him.
Everytime I did some mistake he always yell at me, telling me that I don't deserve to continue my college anymore and I should get a job instead, there is no good future for me to continue studying and I'll just waste his money for my tuition fees so better stop now. Really? This is the kind of parenting I was raised for 21 years.
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Even to the smallest mistakes like forgetting to switch off the light in our bathroom was equivalent already to "You are so dumb!" and will followed by other swear words.
Shaming us in front of other people was one of most hated things on them. On how they just yell at us like we are just a stranger and not their son and daughter.
Getting mad at my older brother and sister for not giving him money as they have their own works with low income because they are not graduated from college for the same reason as mine.
They never supported us from the things we like. Instead they are the one who will put us down with their words.
I am so sick with this. But sometimes I just cry everything just to make myself relief again. But I don't know what to do, they are my parents.. He is my father.. There's nothing I can do about it but just to accept that I was born with this kind of parents.
However, I would never ever do the same way as what they have taught me to my future child. I will never ever shame him/her in front of others because I know whatt feels already. I will raise a child not because that I want some money from him/her once he get a job but to enjoy of having a child. I will never ever let my child experience what I've been through before.
I am still thankful for them for feeding us, raising us, giving our needs etc. but not in their way of teaching us lessons. I just realized everything as I grow older, the things I've experienced before is a big NO, TOXIC and will never be RIGHT.
Sadly, their plan is to only have a good child but never planned how to become a good parent.
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If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading my article, love yah! :) ♡
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Hi. I really finished reading your story and I am sorry that you were treated that way. I mean, for some reason the thought, "Parents knows best" cannot be applied to all. I know I am in no position to say this, but I hope you are doing fine and good now. Life goes on. There will always a rainbow after the rain. ☺️ And good thing that you promised not to do the same thing to your future family. I am proud of you for thinking that way. Keep praying and in no time, God will answer you. Just believe. ✨☺️