Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be part of an association that is frowned upon by the majority, have you wondered what the people in those groups do, how they got there or simply just what it's all about. These were a couple if questions that intrigued me as a teen, as, I was, by family connection, somewhat related to a group of characters who fitted so snuggly into these questions and even more so into my intrigue and it ultimately led an intelligent bubbly happy go lucky young man to take a walk down a path of intrigue, a path that would change him mentally and astetically and draw him to a place where he never thought he'd be, a place that had the warmth of a summer's day but could in an instant weild the bitter cold of an arctic blast. This is my story, my life, my walk down that pathway.
As a young man I was always out and about, my interests were the same as most teens, you know, a constant need to find a girlfriend, a need to be popular, a need to have money, to explore the big open world and see what gems it held. Unlike most stories that follow this kind of timeline I wasn't born into poverty nor was I born into riches, no I was brought up in a regular 3bedroom home in a regular suburb with 3 younger siblings, a father who was manager for a reputable timber company and a mother who was and still is so loving and understanding. My child hood was full of wonder and fun, born to a French/Irish father and a Maori (indigenous New Zealanders) mother I was lucky enough to grow learning the Maori language the culture the Maori worldview, this did not impact me and my English education, instead i believe it assisted in it. I was well educated in both western and Maori worldviews and although I didn't attend University overtime I managed to acquire tertiary certification and in turn entered the workforce and done what most law abiding citizens do, that is I worked, payed taxes, drank, ate, fornicated, tried marijuana, lsd and other social drugs, I suppose a cuply of the things I done weren't what most people done but hey I was young dumb and full of come and as we've all experienced somewhat invincible. I lived a normal 9 to 5 domesticated male life nothing over the top, nothing unexpected, everything was regular until one fateful day when I returned to my hometown to attend the passing of a close family member, it all changed there, it all began there...
SIEG FUCKEN HEIL AAAAAARAAAAH
SEIG FUCKEN HEIL MONGREL MOB!!!
These were the first words I heard, words that at first shocked me but overtime become as easy to say as hello or goodbye. The Mongrel Mob, who are they? why are they feared but yet still family?, are they mafia, no, are they a gang, yes, yes they are. Created by disgruntled men long before I was born, men who threw their middle finger high in the face of society, men who couldn't give a toss about the laws we should all abide by, Mongrel Mob, loyal to the patch and no other. Men who in time became my idols, my brothers, my family, my all, my everything. The Mongrel Mob .
I sometimes sit with my wife and we talk, and it was during one such korero (talk) that I got to thinking, thinking of how ive managed to live this dual life, how, especially now with so much social media around am I able to keep this up,this facade, like some kind of anti super hero who works a 9 to 5 job during the day then goes home and puts on a patch and becomes a gang member , a feared and hated part of society by night, how can I do this and do this so easily.
What has living like this done to me, has it changed me, yes, changed me for the better, maybe, or for the worst ... Hell I don't even know myself for better or worse, but what I do know is the older you get the more you question the reasoning behind the decisions you've made, the events you've been part of and the future that lays in waiting, I know it takes a strain on you mentally living as a good guy knowing you ain't, I know it's a strain on every relationship you have, you're either befriending someone or cutting someone out, you have to choose who to trust and who not to, which sounds quite simple, until you find yourself looking at your family members through mistrusting eyes this is the person you become, you lie so easily to others you sometimes fail to notice you're also lying to yourself, then you have children and it all escalates, you find yourself thinking of all those you've harmed ( in any capacity) and how what you've done in the past may someday rear it's ugly head to exact revenge in the future, but not on you, on your children, you wonder if your friends are really there for you or merely there for what you are, you find yourself so alone at times you can do nothing but push people away, you can't get close to people for fear your being set up, this is what its like to be me, a son, a brother, a husband, a father, a uncle, a regular worker in a not so regular life, a life of lies and loneliness, you have the love of a wife and children, the respect of your peers but you don't and will never have peace of mind which inturn means you shall not live the stress free life you once dreamt of but instead endure the life you could have easily walked away from many times. A lonely life a sad empty life, your soul is the price you pay, your tears become your solice and flow evermore freely for your morality becomes so much more apparent... YOU DIE INSIDE
So if you have ever wondered what it would be like to be part of an association that is frowned upon by the majority or have wondered what the people in those groups do or how they got there or simply just what it's all about, if you've thought about it leave it there and if you're thinking about that life please please ask yourself IS YOUR SOUL WORTH SELLING TO RECIEVE FABRIC FOR YOUR BACK. NO ITS NOT!!!
STRENGHT IS NOT IN BEING FEARED FOR WHO YOU PORTRAY YOURSELF TO BE BUT INSTEAD BEING LOVED FOR WHO YOU ARE.
Nice article