Some Painful Moments
I was reading on nairaland.com when I came upon this thread, talking about some of the most painful things that can happen to us. These are things we hope and pray against, but life is full of uncertainties. Here are a few and my individual experiences and take on them.
This one is something I've experienced twice in about the time period of a week. The first time was on Tuesday when the Nigeria National Team nicknamed 'Super Eagles' failed to fly at the just concluded world cup qualifiers. It's been four days since the match and I'm yet to make peace with the fact that the super eagles, with the kind of quality players it boasts will not be participating at the Qatar 2022 world cup. It become even more painful when I remember that this it will be an arch rival Ghana that would be taking our place on away goal merit, not even because they beat us. My heart was still aching from that when Chelsea decided compound it today by losing to a less ranked team like Brentford, and with such an embarrassing scoreline. By the end of the match, I had lost my appetite and willingness to do anything. I just want to sleep and disappear into the bed. Trust me it can be hell.
I've lost quite a few friends, family and acquaintances in my lifetime, but somehow I can't really say I know anything about this. People say it's the most painful things that can happen to a person, and I like to think I agree, but I've never really felt it. This is despite the fact that I've lost my grandparents from both my Pa and Ma's side, an aunt, a cousin, and a number of friends. I've always had a problem with expressing my emotions and this is something that I developed while growing up. It's almost like I had a defense mechanism to keep me from it and that defence mechanism was shallow bonding with people, even friends and family. This was encouraged by my introvertness. It's not like I didn't love them, I did. I just never really bonded with them as most people like to define 'bond'.
Some argue that there's a reason it's called heartbreak; that it doesn't just cause you pain, the pain is so immensely that your heart can't even take it and might break down. I've only been in one relationship all my life, and as such, you'll imagine I kmlw nothing about this, but again maybe I do. I know what it's like to think someone is got my back, only to discover that they don't. I assume the pain one would feel when their trust is broken in a romantic relationship, would be different in the details and magnitude but have same underlying principles. It's definitely something I never want to experience it.
I remember the time I was struggling with sport bet addiction, and all the effort and sacrifices that went into it, especially from my mum and @Mhizutty. Sometimes, I wonder if I'll still be here if they gave up on me. The pain of been given up on strikes quite differently. Having to live knowing someone whose support is important to you has given up on you can cause almost permanent damage to a person's state of mind and being. This pain takes a whole new dimension and magnitude when it's family and age long good friends. Thank God that I've always surrounded myself with few but worthy friends and family folks and it has paid off in mostly shielding from this kind of pain.