The Struggles of Maria

 There were no medical diagnostics that would show that she is suffering from mental issues (disorder) since she was not sent to a specialist but you can assess her as you converse with her.  This was also observed by the Social Worker who handled her case.  She also has a very impulsive behavior.

Maria was a victim of human sex trafficking.  In our previous conversation, she told me that unfamiliar women offered her work in Manila.  She was 15 at that time.  She said that, the women promised her work with good salary.  I can remember that I asked her why she trusted the women?  She said that the promise of giving her good provisions made her decide to go to Manila and with her desire also to get away from her relatives.  I understand her situation, knowing also that nobody is guiding her and giving her moral support.

 In Manila, she landed in  a sex den.  She also lost contact with her recruiter.  She was nowhere to be found.  There, she experienced being drugged and get high all the time.  Maria, together with other women and girls were imprisoned and never permitted to go out.  Each day, she was used by more than 10 men (as long as she can remember).  Inside her, she is crying for help but she can do nothing, she always ended up submitting herself under the tyranny of her sadistic abusers and made her do whatever they command against her will.  She has nowhere to go especially that they we’re heavily guarded by goons with guns.  Each day, she desired to go home but as the days go by, she loses hope and slowly developing accommodation syndrome. 

More than a year that she bared all the pains and disappointments until one day, she got a chance to go out of the place.  She ran and run together with 1 of her colleagues, they were able to go to a police station and reported what happened but instead of receiving help, they were accused of using drugs (sadly, the police assigned was a contact and protector of the sex traffickers) but since she was a minor, she was sent under the care of the social services.  The event was sad but at least she was able to go out of the den she’s been suffering for more than a year. 

She then started to seek help from the center she was in.  They were able to contact her younger brother who was then a fisherman.  They then managed to get her back home but during that time she was suffering from sexually transmitted infections, UTI and tuberculosis.  When she returned home, she was able to cure herself with the help of the local social welfare and relatives but the mental damaged brought by drugs and psychological abuse she experienced caused her much.  She developed anxiety, tantrums (sometimes she talks to herself alone, she acts out) and worst is inflicting self-harm.

Government’s assistance is not enough as I analyzed the events she shared to me.  I also have seen that family support is not stable.  There is ignorance on the effects of abuse and denial on the part of the family that they have a relative like her (like an outcast).   It is sad to note that she experienced discrimination within the family.  After that, I always encouraged her to join our volunteers’ program but she did not even bother.

 Months passed by. One Friday afternoon, an unexpected private chat reached me.  It was Maria who messaged me.  She angrily rants her disappointment towards her relatives because they took her for granted and they do not take her seriously, as if she was a joke and she is not listened to.   She expressed her need for financial assistance for her desire to go to Bacolod City, her mother’s place according to her.  With that, she asked for my time because she wanted to talk to me and seeks help.

 It was then I who suggested the date and time to come here in the office considering both our availability.  We settled with Monday at 1:00 o’clock in the afternoon and that our Advocacy Officer who is also known to her will fetch her in her house.  She agreed the suggestion and gives her affirmation to it.

 Monday came, the weather was good. I was in the office doing my usual activities and  to my surprise, Maria just popped up in the office, sweaty, looking tired and so haggard.  I  let her get inside the office and offered her a seat and let her calm down and settle herself.  Inside me, honestly, I was a little irritated but knowing her behavior, I fully understood how impulsive she is.

 We had a conversation: Let's take the following code:

E.D.- Me

C1- Maria

E.D:   What happened Maria? Why are you so early?

C1:     I want to leave early because my aunt is angry again and she keeps on shouting at me, I want to go to DSWD now. I will ask for help so that I can go to my mother in Bacolod.  (you can see her talking fast, almost catching her breath, desperate and angry)

E.D.: haven’t we decided before that we will fetch you in your house and we will bring you personally to the DSWD?

C1:    Yes, Ma’am. But I really want to leave at once. Please help me. I want to go to my mother  now. (speaking fast)

E.D.  Okay, just calm down, Let us set things first. Okay. Now, tell me, what really happened? Why did you come here this early and look at you, you  look really haggard and your sweating all-over.

C1:    My aunt is yelling at me so early, she did not give me food. I walk all the way from our house until I get here.

Their house is more than 2 kilometers away from the office.

E.D.  Okay, am I right with what I understand  that you don’t want to stay in your aunt anymore? And you want to be with your mother already?

C1.    Yes, Ma’am and I want it as soon as possible.  I told my aunt about that but she want’s me to go to my step mother’s house and stay there but I don’t like her.  I want to have my own money and buy my own food.  I felt that they don’t what me anymore.

E.D.  How do you feel about your aunt not wanting you to stay in their house.

C.I.  I don’t know ma’am, I don’t understand them. They are always angry.

E.D.   Okay then, let’s see what we can do. Well, I want you to know that before you decide anything about your plans, we need to let your relatives know about it, what we can do now is, we will assist you to the Social Welfare Office since they are the one with the resources and they are the right office who can help you, okay?

C1.    Okay ma’am, but will they really help me ma’am?

E.D.   That’s why you have to go there and talk to the social workers so that you will know to what extent they can help you but I cannot guarantee you that that 100% they can provide all that you desire because they have to assess your family, your relatives and your father as well.

C1.   Okay Ma’am, it’s okay.

With that, I requested our Admin Assistant to Meet with the Social Worker (our long-time partner in assisting clients) but before they went there, I called the Social Worker to assure that they will be catered accordingly.  I also give her Marias background and intention of accessing their service.  After having positive response, I deployed our staff and Maria.

 I called Maria’s Aunt and I also learned according to her that Maria is having tantrums again.  She said that they we’re providing her basic needs.  Maria actually receives money from her brother who was a fishermen but once her money were spent up, she would go wild again and inflict self harm.  Her trauma comes back from time to time.  As what her Aunt said “ Mag drama-drama na sya Ma’am, sya rang usa mag isturya, maghilak-hilak, dayon mo syagit.”  I also asked her aunt if they we’re able to seek psychological help for Maria but unfortunately, they were finically scarce and that they were not able to continue the counselling session by the Social Services.

 There I learned that Maria was already sent to Social Services before only that they were not able to comply the follow-up requirements.  There I learned also that her mother is not in Bacolod and it was confirmed during the phone call done by our staff after accessing contacts during the meeting with the Social Worker.  Her Aunt told me not to believe in all the things she’s telling me because she makes up things sometimes.

 After sending Maria to the Social Worker, she has decided to stay.  The Social Worker was able to give her counseling and have made it clear  that she too have responsibilities as member of the household.  She was also advised to control her unnecessary spending so that her money will last longer since she was provided with basic needs.

Now, I am finding ways to reach out Maria again. Her experience was not easy. Living in a toxic kind of family is depressing. I hope that time will come the there will be no more Maria will ever experience this again.

For more clarifications on Marias case, please don't hesitate to comment.