When I went on my honeymoon in the first week of the wedding and saw Tamal's use with the waiter, it was as if something had gone wrong. And the day I was kicked in the stomach at the end of 6 months of pregnancy, I was completely sure that my family would not last long here.
My marriage to Tamal is a family affair. Tamal's half-brother is my uncle's colleague. A boy like Tamal, my uncle has said so many times that it would not be right to leave such a house in any way. I used to hear this even in my sleep. The family says that Tamal has no father. Don't. Hand socks, foot socks are all worn, which is called extremely pious. Tamals are two brothers, no sisters. Big brother and Bhabhi's three daughters. Bhabhi wears hijab even though she doesn't wear full veil and it is beautiful enough to see. A discreet lady with a master's degree in social sciences.
There was no reason to object, so a week after the marriage was consummated, we had a cabin in the presence of some very close relatives. My mother-in-law is not a believer in big events because these are considered as heresies and abominable deeds in Islam.
Tamal stayed at our house on the wedding day. For two days I was a happy couple in my home, happy marriage life with all the laughter, jokes, romance. I went to Cox's Bazar on my honeymoon three days after the wedding. That's where my real meeting started. I came to my father-in-law's house with a thousand questions in my mind from my honeymoon.
I am amazed to see them. My mother-in-law is busy with Hindi serials day and night, there is no time, no time, I saw her singing over and over again, one day I dared to say in the evening ...
-Mom, don't you pray? Azan gave.
ঃ You read, I'm unclean.
I didn't say anything. But as the weeks go by, the months go by and his impurity does not end. The elder sister-in-law told me one day that she would not pray. It was as if I was plunged into darkness, I could not send Tamal to read Jumu'ah, the rest of the week I came back from the office to pray, I did not miss anything. My mother-in-law, who had not met my non-mahram, shouted from the verandah and called the peddler. After bathing, she sat on the verandah with her hair in the sun. I began to fall into a trance. As I have heard only the elder brother before marriage, I see how everyone else is different. The elder brother is a good man, a true worshiper and a worldly man.
The days are passing by day by day, I am having a loveless family with Tamal, everything was going on, there was no shortage of rice and clothes. There was a lack of two words of love, a sweet smile, a good hand. Tamal didn't talk much without the need. He used to come back from the office late, where is the time to talk or look at me with love. They have created false images, huge walls of lies around them and I feel like I'm going to die.
I was able to catch the issue of Tamal's extramarital affair when our family was 4 months and 9 days old. Nah! Dad never raised his hand, got angry but never hit! I just cried on the phone to my mother, I couldn't say anything, like every day, my mother said one thing that at the beginning of family life, everyone has a little trouble, mother, adjust.
I adjusted, I didn't tell my mother that her darling daughter had a handprint on her cheek today.
In the meantime I realized I had conceived. My mother-in-law arranged sweets, cakes and all kinds of food. This is the first time that sweets and fruit baskets went from my father-in-law's house to my father's house. My late father-in-law Alhaj Tayyab Ali started calling me my mother-in-law
ঃ Snow Tamal's father, this time we understand we will see the grandson's face
I was shocked. Grandson !!!!! Children are children. My first child on it. It moved inside me, if it is a girl? What will happen then? Listening to Bhabi getting up and sitting down for Bhabi's three daughters, there is nothing left to talk about another marriage with the help of religion. The elder brother did not agree with anything. He was happy with the three daughters. According to him, the Prophet (peace be upon him) did not have any sons and the daughter was a mercy of Allah.
When the doctor said I would have one or two babus, Tamal just gave a dull answer ‘Oh”. I asked as I came down the street.
- You two babus are not happy about this!
- Yes, why not! One or the other is the same thing, but I hope there is at least one boy in it.
I fell silent, my two daughters in my womb, the doctor told me.
In this way, 6 months have passed, I did not dare to tell anyone about my two daughters. After going to the doctor's visit at the age of 6 months, when Tamal found out that we would have a daughter, Tamal's appearance changed completely. When I came home, my mother-in-law started cursing me with all her faults. I said goodbye on the day of delivery. I should not take her alone with me. She has three granddaughters and she does not want to fill the house with them. It's my fault, I looked at my science student Husband, a textile engineer, with silent eyes.
That night I protested for the first time in a good way, why couldn't I accept that someone had wished for the death of my unborn children.
- You're not a science student. The girl will be a child. Is this happening to me? Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT aint for me either. Why didn't you tell your mother?
Tamal grabbed my tutti.
Why raise your voice? Now I will sit down to explain science to my mother.
--I want to kill your children in front of you, you have nothing to say !.
The child that I have not seen in my eyes, whether he is there or not.
I pushed Tamal and threw him, I could not keep my balance and sat on the floor. I wanted to set fire to the whole house. Hold on to the throat with which the desire to kill my children has come out.
But before I knew it, Tamal came and kicked me. I moved closer with blurred eyes and got closer. The kick hit me in the stomach. The whole world went dark in my pain, I cried, I started screaming.
That big sister-in-law, please take me to the hospital.
Big Bhabi came running and hugged me, who called big brother. Tamal is standing far away, and he seems to have turned to stone in the suddenness of the incident. My elder brother and sister-in-law took me to the hospital by ambulance. My sister-in-law is holding me tightly and telling me to have courage. Tamal is sitting in the ambulance like a statue!
During the cesarean section, I had to remove my uterus due to complications in the uterus. Although I didn't know it then, I found out later. I'm not sorry about that. I've got a motherly taste. I'm full!
Tamal was with me at the hospital after the delivery. He told me to go to my father's house with my daughters. My mother is there to take care of me. My father and mother came to my father's house with me.
After cutting the stitches in the follow-up, I went home and told my father that I wanted to get a divorce. Dad fell from the sky, I kept listening to what people would say if he got divorced,
ঃ Think more, there is nothing to make a sudden decision, you have just become a mother, think about the future of the children.
I didn't say anything, I was very angry with my father that his respect for him was greater than my daughter's life. Did I make the decision in one day? This has been on my mind since the first week of my marriage.
On the 28th day of my daughters, a notice of divorce came in my name. Tamal sent me a divorce letter. The paper relationship ended without any trouble, I don't think it was the first day of marriage from Opash.
Surprisingly, after my divorce, I became a different name in the family as an experienced failed person. No, or if I had known, my family would have been tied. Some people ask this emotionally
Don't miss him? I don't say with a smile, I ask about their conscience in my mind. And in the darkness of the night, with the hands of my two daughters on my chest, I look at the empty space on one side of the bed and take out the troubles with a hole called eye. One girl could be on my chest and another girl could be on my father's chest But not a drop of water came out of my eyes in the morning light. I don't want to cry, girl. For this reason, most of the ideas I have done something, the fault is mine, or the fundamental religion is cowardly or not!
So very few people nearby asked "what happened" but asked "what did you do?"
Since Tamal gave me a divorce letter, I was once again found guilty. In this one place, I am still angry with my father. Then I thought, at least my father has not left my hand yet, he is holding his grandchildren in his arms. The mother of my two daughters never took them in her arms. My two daughters don't even have a father's forehead.
I named the girls Lam and Noon. My two daughters who are the target of the target, at night, two people sleep with me on both sides of the body. Never do anything random. Sit down with books in the evening because I said they will go to school from this January. This is the only thing that needs to be said. They may have felt the pain of the mother at a very young age. The Creator has kept peace somewhere, for me all the comforts of the world are in these two faces.
This morning, Tamal came for 4 years. His mother wants to see Lam Noon on her death bed. I heard that Tamal had a son two years ago, but the boy's heart condition is occasionally hospitalized. The elder sister-in-law still calls occasionally, still listening to her. When I saw Lam Noon, he was happy and said that it was like seeing him. My daughters screamed at me. I don't want to hear anything like that.
Noon asked and sat down
ঃ Mom, what should I call Dad?
It was nice to see Tamal's embarrassed look so I didn't answer because I didn't want them to call him father.
Tamal asked them if they would go to see Grandma, my two daughters looked at me with inquisitive eyes. I don't know where I came from but what I said but I didn't.
---- You think your three calamities are gone. We do not exist. There is no need to see them.
Tamal is gone!
The past twisted inside my chest, I kept so much pain, so much wailing, everything is trying to come out in this chest today. I came out with the excuse of buying girls' pencils, I don't know exactly how long I cried sitting on the park bench. After reading the Maghrib Azan, I went to a shop and bought a pencil for the girls, I bought 5 packets of biryani from the biryani shop, today I will have a celebration with all of us, because I don't have to. I walked into the market and bought myself a red lipstick. I wrapped it with wrapping paper, put a gift card on it and wrote there -
"Dear Myself,
U did good, U are amazing and so u deserve a gift
love,
truly very yours ❤ "
