Looking back on the marriages that are taking place around us these days, one thing that comes to mind is that our marriages are becoming more and more expensive.

On the one hand, as the cost of marriage is increasing, on the other hand, if we see too much overcrowding in the cabin and it has matched our life as a social status or a social symbol, but the importance of where the cabin money came from is in our lives.  We forgot

If we think a little deeper about marriage, we will see that we have been working on the dowry system for a long time, we have developed a lot of social resistance against the dowry system, but now we see a new form of the dowry system and that is the gift.
The most interesting thing is that the word dowry has been replaced by the word gift.Just change the name but the thing is in the same place as before.
We raise our children from an early age and during this time we teach them many things and we talk to them about many social and family issues but how many of us parents have been able to talk openly with them about marriage.
How many of us can talk about how important it is in life and how much dignity it has, even how many of us have been able to have a discussion convention with them about sexuality
Today in my article I am trying to discuss this social assessment of marriage and its impact on our lives.
Marriage is a social bond I said at the beginning that the marriage that is taking place in our society today is becoming more and more difficult, more expensive.
Now the most important thing is if we could make this marriage easier.
In a sense, if marriage is so difficult, then it has some detrimental effects on our lives. If we are not very mindful, it binds us to a lot of hardship and responsibility.

*A short story I would like to present here.This is how the impact of the wedding spending tradition that we have created is adversely affecting our lives so hopefully this story will shed some light.
A few days ago, a relative of mine arranged the marriage of his daughter and the relative fell ill around the time of the marriage.  The cost of her marriage on the one hand and her physical illness on the other.  He fell into anxiety and trouble.Because he's from a middle-class family .

The worst thing that happened was that he saw that he could not meet the demands of the groom's party and on the other hand he could not accept all the words of his own relatives because a relative was talking about the same needs.  Someone says, what brand of watch will you give the groom? Someone says how much will you buy the groom's wedding dress? What brand of shoes will it be?  With all this, he fell into a very difficult situation.The most difficult of these was the needs of his own daughter
His daughter wanted to gift a lehenga to all his girlfriends at the wedding.  If he does not do this, his status will be lowered in front of everyone. He will be lowered in front of everyone.
Her biggest problem was that I would accept whatever outsiders told me but my own daughter didn't understand why she was putting such pressure on me.
If we think in terms of this, then the society we live in has people of different classes, professions and different financial backgrounds.
It may be different for the upper class people in the society who have crores of rupees in the bank who are earning lakhs of rupees a month but what about the middle class people and the lower middle class people?
There are so many types of people living in this society and in the context of all of them, this marriage is a matter of color and form.
We get frustrated in life when we can't tell the difference between luxury and necessity.
And when I look at this relative of mine, it points me to a different side of society.
It seems to me that we are exaggerating so much about this marriage but to whom do we want to show this.  Who are we doing this luxury for and how much pleasure this luxury is giving us.
We talk or work about different big changes in the society but there are some small issues that cannot be solved without talking regularly.
We are not often heard talking about the cost of marriage because it is normal for a parent to have to pay for a wedding but we do not think deeply about the pain of a father and the pain of a mother.
And the suffering of the parents is greatest when their own children do not want to understand this and they and the society have exactly the same demands as ten other people.
My friend got married after the designer dress.  So I also have to give the branded  dress. She has spent lakhs of rupees on her wedding, I also have to spend lakhs of rupees to get married with pomp.
Society is putting pressure on one side.  But when we ourselves become so inhuman, our parents do not deserve it from us.These demands contribute to how a father chooses the wrong path, how a husband earns money the illegal way.
I would like to give another example I have seen:
A friend of mine finished his studies and got a job in a good company. When he got a job, his salary was 30 thousand rupees but he took a loan of 21 lakh rupees from the bank at the time of marriage to get married.
At his wedding, he gave the cabin more than 10 lakh rupees and people have to show that the wedding is going on in a grand manner. 4000 guests come to his wedding.
But within two years, their husbands and wives were not getting along. So they wanted to get a divorce, but since the boy had already borrowed so much money from the bank, he could not afford to pay his wife for the cabin.  Although divorce was the best decision for them.Because he doesn't have enough money, he has to survive in this relationship.We are making our marriages like this day by day.
If we talk about those who are particular Muslims, then this issue plays a big role.It is very respectable for them and the money in the cabin is not money that we just say with our mouths that if you forgive then you will not be forgiven. The money in this cabin is definitely payable.
Religiously, there is an implication that you must pay this money.You have to pay this money before you go to the wedding.But we have now turned the matter upside down.It has become like a status or symbol to us now. Everyone wants to know how much money has been paid for the cabin, how much has been paid.
Family is the name of the most powerful unit in the society.And family matters come through marriage.  So when we decide on the cabin money at the time of marriage, we must take care of that.  The boy I am marrying, how much he deserves to pay this money.

Wedding Dowry :

Another issue that is very deeply involved with marriage is dowry.  Maybe the lower class will say dowry in their language and the upper class will say gift in their language.But in turn the matter came to the same.If I were to say in this light, these cultures might not matter to those who have a lot of money but may play a huge role for those who are lower or middle class in society.
When a girl from a low-income family is married off, how much pain does the girl have to endure in her in-laws' house if she cannot bear these cultures, and at the same time the girl's parents have to be under a lot of stress?
We have a lot of wedding ceremonies, dance-songs and then there are different stages. Don't you think these are extra luxuries, extra expenses?
I'm not saying there will be no fun in marriage, there will be no joy in marriage, there will be everything, but we also have to keep in mind how much pressure it puts on us.
The family is the strongest foundation of a society and in order to build that foundation we must take care of all these small things. Because if we want to build a family with so much responsibility then I am worried about how happy this family will be in the future.
And if we want to change these things, we must first change the attitude of our family.We must first discuss these issues with our children.
We see that the number of divorces in families is increasing day by day.

It is a reality that we have now arrived at.
If I think back to the past, we will see that the devotion they had, the respect with which they were bound in a relationship year after year, 30 years 40 years, until death, is not with us now.
So the most important thing to teach our children is that the time we are living in and it is not a fun thing, it is an important thing and it involves the lives of all of us.The most important thing in a marriage is how responsible you are.
How responsible you are as a wife, how responsible you are as a husband, how successful you are as a father, and as responsible as a mother, this is the greatest achievement of your life.
To me, a simple marriage means that there will not be so many things to show.We should actually make marriage easier in all circles.At the same time we need to keep in mind that not everyone has the same view of marriage.The fundamental thing here is that if I get married here, the most important thing is what matters most to me.My meaningful marriage can be limited to a very small number of people through a small ceremony.It's just a matter of one's mind set.We are complicating the marriage issue by thinking about what the people of the society will say.And the biggest danger is that the current generation has a lot of negative thoughts about marriage.To them, marriage means domestic strife and the final consequence is divorce.
But no, there are many beautiful stories in the world of these marriages and their success.So why don't we think about these things in a positive way by eliminating these negative thoughts.Then you will see that all the complexities and misconceptions surrounding this marriage will become a simple and beautiful social norm.

🎎🎑🎉🎊🎈🎇🎆🎈🎎🎎🎊🎉🎈🎇🎆🎈