Games

*For those who aren't familiar with the game Settlers of Catan, look for the asterisk lower down. It will offer a gist of the next few paragraphs.

Some time ago, I played a game of Settlers of Catan with friends. As the game progressed, one friend was hoarding Development Cards and put a few cards on the side. We caught on, telling him that "it must be fun to have 3 'Victory Point' cards!" He, of course, vehemently denied it. But then why would he (foolishly) separate them from the rest? In fact, every time he'd draw a development card, he'd groan "why do I keep getting only knights?!", but those three cards were separate from the rest of his development cards, so it was obvious they were different. The game was getting intense as all players were neck-in-neck, but he was in a slight lead- that is, if those cards were in fact Victory Point cards. We made another joke or two. He was growing more and more irritated.

Suddenly, he went on a sort of rant. "I don't have any Victory Points and it's unfair that no one will trade with me. It's really annoying and I'm not even close to winning! Why don't you go after X, he has more points then I do!"
"Well, we know you have victory points, probably 3, so you're actually in the lead."
"No I don't have any, you're making assumptions that aren't true and it's ruining the game."
We smiled and looked at him.
"You really mean to tell us you don't have any Victory Point cards?"
After a few seconds he buckled, "Look, maybe one, but I don't have three."

We still didn't really believe him, but it was visibly starting to agitate him and it was turning the whole game a bit sour, so we eased up.

He kept playing very focused. His turns were long and calculated and sure enough, a few minutes later he jumped up and said "I won!", turning over three Victory Point cards.

"But you said you might have one, let alone two and even worse, three. We knew it this whole time and you specifically made a scene just to win."
Still in the high of "pulling a fast one on us" he said, "Well, you can lie about development cards. No one actually has to say what they have. That's how you play the game."

I'll leave my description of the game here (it was a bit more heated), but add that while no one really expected him to say what development cards he had (they are face down for a reason, after all), there's a big difference between deciding not to tell the other players what you have and making a scene; holding the game and potentially a part of your friendships ransom as you try to preserve the edge you have and which your opponents have caught on to because of mishandling.

___

*The summary: We played a game of strategy and luck, that relies on acquiring materials and trading them with your opponents to try and build to get points. You can also "trade in" materials to get special cards with different properties that remain face down until you use them. 10 Victory Points (however you manage to get them) and you win. Some of the special cards, called "Development Cards", are Victory Points themselves. One player had three of them, putting him in the lead. We tried to stop him from winning, but he was getting angry that we were "ganging up on him" despite him having less points (remember: these cards are face down, but it was obvious he had them). Not wanting things to escalate, we played more relaxed. A short time later he won and said that what he did was fair (obviously he would say that, it's what made him win!). Feel free to go back up to get a more "live" coverage of the situation.
____

So that was that. He won, adding another victory to his mental tally of Settlers games and enforcing his ranking as a superior Settler player.

The whole thing was swept under the rug pretty quickly, but its something all the other players remember well.
The question is, should it matter? Some people think fights that arise from games, whatever they may be, are stupid. Because it's just a game. Or so the saying goes.

Life

A lot of things happen in life. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. Usually regular, but often times unexpected. You've probably heard the phrase "whatever life throws at you", implying a sort of black box that spits out outcomes.

In many ways, life itself is a game. We're all players, with different abilities and capabilities, doing all sorts of quests as we try to level up in the way that seems to best cater to our individual story mode. Some people believe we live a simulation, only strengthening the idea that life really is a very long game being played. And whatever happens, that's life.

But then how should we think about games or our lives, especially in the context of each other?

Thinking back to my game of Settlers- should I hold it against him? Should I make a clear distinction between who he is as a person and how he plays games? Should his playing style influence how I see him after the game is over, regardless of who wins?
I will admit that the way he plays has a lot of similarities to aspects of his personality in real life. For better and for worse.

In fact, some games mimic real life/behavior much better than other games. I might not be able to know too much about your personality after a few rounds of bingo, but there's also a game called Diplomacy.

? Games = Life ?

Some important things to know about the game Diplomacy[1]:

• The creator of the game made it while enrolled at Harvard Law School.

• "Law students, he found, adored it, as it enfranchised aggression, and it was refined over many late-night sessions in his room."

And most crucially:

• Unlike many board games, Diplomacy leaves nothing to chance: there are no dice to roll (as in the comparable board game Risk, which relies on armies to conquer the world), no cards to shuffle (ditto), no pointers to spin. Instead it relies on strategy, cunning and above all verbal prowess.

Interestingly, Mr. Calhamer was an honored guest at many Diplomacy tournaments, at which he was by all accounts a good player but not a great one — he was apparently too kindly to succeed at his own game.

And this may show up in aspects of his life, as per the article:
- Disinclined to pursue a cutthroat career, Mr. Calhamer left law school before graduating.
- On the strength of Diplomacy, Mr. Calhamer was hired by Sylvania’s Applied Research Laboratory in Waltham, Mass., to bring his analytical stills to bear on real-world military problems. But he chafed amid corporate culture and left after six years.

It's clear diplomacy as a game can have a lot of real world insight:

Larry Harris commented: "I am convinced that Allan Calhamer's masterpiece should be part of every high school curriculum. Don't tell the kids, but it teaches history, geography, the art of political negotiation, and something else — some healthy critical skepticism. By the time you get into high school, you have a pretty good idea that not everyone always tells the truth. But a good game of Diplomacy helps you to understand how skillful some people can be at fooling you!"[2]

Endgame

There's a saying that you play to win, but that might be more of a mindset than an actual fact. And whats winning, anyway? My friend may have won the battle (the game we set out to play), but if we think less of him for it, did he lose the war (fellow players for future games, longer lasting friendships, etc.)?

I'm not sure myself what the balance is between games and life, when to take which one seriously and when. However, one thing is certain. You don't suddenly "change" when playing a game. You may elevate certain characteristics and repress others, but how you act in a simulation of events is unique to you. And it can change from game to game.

I still play Settlers of Catan with this friend, but I better understand him as a player. He still gets annoyed at times (he's also been winning less), but he's been very tolerable. Maybe at some point he'll realize it's not us, but him.

And maybe games can be a good way to learn the strengths and weaknesses of our playing style and of those around us, regardless of what playing field it really is...

Here's to hoping we can become better from the games we play! What do you think? Leave comments and tip if you like what you read. :)

[1] https://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/07/us/allan-calhamer-inventor-diplomacy-board-game-dies-at-81.html
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diplomacy_(game)#cite_note-HG-36