*NO'No'* isn't just a word, it is a complete statement. It doesn't need any further explanation. It is sufficient on its own. *No* simply means *No*. And when a woman says *No*, she means *No*. It doesn't matter whether she is _*a total stranger, a familiar face, a crush, a friend, an acquaintance, a girlfriend, a fiancé, a commercial sex worker or even your own wife!*_ *No* means *No*. It doesn't matter how seductive you find her, it is just not an excuse. Even if you find her dressing immodest, it gives you no right over her body. She has no responsibility to dress to appease your sensibilities. Her mode of dressing is her choice. There can be no other meaning to *No*. When a woman says *No*, you stop. It doesn't matter how turned on you are, it matters very little whether she led you on, it doesn't matter how much you have spent on her to get her to where you both are; If she says *No*, then you stop. Yes, you have your own feelings and your ego too; those are matters for later. But meanwhile she has said *No*, it means it is time to stop!
*One in every four girls* in Nigeria had experienced sexual violence and rape before the age of 18. More than 30℅ of women have been a victim of one sexual abuse or the other. It is no gainsaying that the girl child has become an endangered specie in the world at large and especially in Nigeria.
Nigeria's rape culture is effectuated by religious and cultural traditions of male supremacy and dominance. The view of women as mere addenda to the men increases a perception that she should be treated as lesser human beings, and this spikes an increased tolerance for sexual abuse by men.
*When a girl is sexually abused in Nigeria;* many people believe that it has to be because she has done something wrong. It had to be her fault. You hear despicable things like _*'How can she wear that type of clothe and expect not to get raped?', 'She went to visit a boy alone at home and she is surprised he forced himself on her?', 'When she was collecting all that money, what did she think will happen?', 'Doesn't she know it is dangerous to walk alone at night?', 'She shouldn't have been so rude to the boy when he was toasting her'...etc.*_ Most likely than not, a girl who is the victim of sexual abuse is going to get the blame in Nigeria rather than the perpetrator of the crime. This ugly situation has compelled most victims of rape to silently bear the pain and shame alone, making healing for them an uphill task. This in effect has embolden the sexual predators lurking in the shadows to continue perpetrating their heinous crimes. This accounts for the statistics that only two out of every forty rape cases get reported, and worse still, only a handful of people have been jailed for rape in decades.
*I watched in horror* as some people on social media try to justify or play down the rise in the occurrence of rape cases in the last few days. I was perplexed that people can come out to defend a crime as devastating as rape, even if it is behind the anonymity the social media offers. I read in bewilderment, how a female police officer asked a fourteen year old girl victim of rape if she didn't _*enjoy it*_ (sic) when she was being violated, and why she was now crying. This coming from an officer of the law, and a woman!
Some people tried playing down this crime by claiming that the male are also victims of sexual violence. While it is true that male rape is also a problem, it won’t be solved by deemphasizing violence against women. When we shift the spotlight from the women who bring up the subject of rape and instead concentrate on what is often referred to as _“rarely discussed male rape,”_ we end up propagating rape culture, alongside attitudes like victim blaming and slut shaming. As a matter of fact, male rape gains more credence when we are open about female rape and the physical and mental damage it inflicts on women of all ages, influencing their attitudes and actions toward the men in their lives.
This sickening attitude to sexual offences in Nigeria is one of the reasons why a girl child is in constant jeopardy if not for the special grace of God.
*I will not end this piece* without commending everyone that has stood up to rail against the rape culture in our society in the last few days, and the NGOs that have dedicated their time and resources to fighting this scourge. I must say however that all of these will not be enough if everybody as one does not rise to fight against this ugly trend. *If we do not decisively deal with the culture that perceives the girl child as essentially inferior through the prism of religion, tradition or even law, insomuch that an abuse of her is tolerable or manageable, then we are all part of the problem. And no amount of social media grandstanding and placard raising can absolve us.*
*Finally*, guys; a woman is not just a piece of _ass_ (pardon my French). She is more than just her body. She is an embodiment of creation itself. An attack on her is an attack on nature.
It does not matter how far you have gone; when she says *NO*, she is not playing hard to get. She means *NO*. AND YOU *STOP*. *Say No To Rape.*