Key factors in Marriages

Am writing about this here to give pleasure and understanding to the married men and women we have here.I hope you learn one or two things.

Putting words on these delicate matters enables husband and wives to discuss them together more freely. A woman can grow to understand a man's problem and a man can also grow to understand a woman's problem if there is enough sharing between them. It is not by any means necessary to experience all the difficulties oneself in order to understand them. We can almost feel the pain of a man with a broken leg without breaking our own. The objective of this article is to increase the dialogue and love rather than simply to impact knowledge.

A good example of how dialogue increases marital harmony is often found among users of natural family planning. When it is taught in it's fullness and not merely the dry bones of a method, it evokes a spontaneous dialogue at a deep level between husband and wife.

Dialogue as described above, is one of the basic elements in a happy marriage. I see Honesty as the second one; Honesty with ones self and with one's partner; the avoidance of sham, performance, pretence. This requires maturity and great sensitivity. It means speaking the truth to yourself and to your partner, but with the utmost gentleness. The truth often hurts but when gently expressed it leads to maturity. Be authentic; be true to yourself and don't pretend.

Growth is the third major element I see in marriages. I would like to stress something which at first my appear obvious but which if fully appreciated could minimize many marital problems. This is the fact of growth. Building a marriage is the work of lifetime. Love grows; it changes and newly weds need to recognize this fact. The romantic love of earlier years gradually develops into the caring love of later life and this change should be welcomed. It is true that a certain degree of romanticism should always be part of marriage, but clinging to this aspect of love may hinder the development of a deeper and more real relationship. Most of these reflections on growth arose out of a discussion with a friend whom I hold in high regard. He said, "everything takes time to grow- everything and everyone. This includes growth in one's knowledge of love, of sex, of marriage and of oneself. Infact we will still be learning about these four things when they are laying us in the tomb. So everyone should cheer up!"

Now on this light-hearted note, we will end our discussion on love for now. I hope you have learnt one or two things.

Thanks for reading. I would love it if you support me. It would boost my spirit to write more of this . Thank you all.