Why did I take 16 days to write my first *real* article?

As an overthinker, my thoughts are scattered and all over the place. I write to help myself from breaking down. You see, most of my posts were written just minutes before a breakdown *or while*. Writing them down fixes it and gives them confirmation. I enjoy writing, whether it makes sense or not. So, I began writing on Noise. Abaxas, who introduced me here, reminded me twice I could write these pieces on read, he said-

“Sign up on read.cash for diary-like-professional-looking posts”.

And so I began-

I wrote an article before this *gasps, is this not her first article*. Yes, I wrote one before this; it was like a test drive. I had joined the platform during my exams, and I did not want writing to come in the way of my exams. Ergo, I decided not to start *officially*. It took 12 days for the exams to get over.

Day 13- The day after exams is always a free day, right? *procrastination begins*

WHAT SHOULD I WRITE ABOUT?

Day 14- I had set a Target. Today’s day was going to be spent on reading what others are writing. *procrastination intensifies*

I opened the website to see what are people were writing about, three topics that had the highest upvotes were-

1.     Cryptocurrency- I don't know anything about 'hot' topics like ‘Cryptocurrency’ or ‘Bitcoins’. I have invested in Mutual Funds only.

2.     Finance and Investment- Though I am learning about Finance as part of my syllabus, I do not have the relevant experience to share.

3.    Succeeding in Life- I have some * brag-worthy* medals and laurels in sports, but is that real-life success?

Day 14 was a bit of a disappointment.

Day 15- I made a list of topics I care to write about *procrastination bloops*

But what are the topics I can write here about? Can I write about my nonchalant jibber-jabber? I enjoy traveling and have always wanted to be a travel blogger. I could start there? I'm sure I can write about them, but I was worried if anyone's actually going to read them. Porwest assured me that, maybe, it's the stuff people genuinely want to read. I used 'assured and maybe' in the same sentence. It’s an oxymoron, but that's it, that's the motivation I need! I will start writing, FROM TOMORROW.

And so, I made a list.

WHAT SHOULD I *NOT* WRITE ABOUT?

There has been a trend of negativity in my writing. Once Cryptozeug mentioned that my writings can be somewhat depressing. I’m aware I can be extremely negative sometimes. It takes me only minutes to spiral downwards. If they were giving awards to pessimistic people, I'm sure I wouldn't get it.

 Cryptozeug said, “People don't prefer reading so much negativity.” That's a BIG piece of advice that I needed. I don't want to be writing articles no one was going to read. I'm going to leave all my negative posts for Noise.

WHERE TO BEGIN FROM?

 Day 16-The day I actually opened my notes and started writing.

Alright, I know what I have to write about, and I know what I should not write about, but where to begin? You see, most people write in this manner: Start> Body> End. However, that's someone whose ideas and thoughts are organized. I'm unstructured, my ideas are all over the place and my thoughts are wavering. I love writing, I am not a writer. But I'm here to learn. I am not sure if this is the right way to do it, but this is certainly my way of doing it- I write down sentences that I make sense or belong to the topic I'm writing. I then segregate them into identifiable paragraphs. I process them and keep aligning them until it forms a flow that actually makes sense.

And so, after days of procrastination and hours of thinking, I present to you my first *real* article.

Writing comes naturally to me, but what I write can be *sometimes* unnatural. I someday wish to 'write to inspire'. I write candidly, and I do have some playfulness in my writing that arouses mixed emotions. What are mixed emotions you ask? It's an emotion you feel when you feel all the emotions at once. Pride, Disappointment, Hopeful, Confusion? I'm so proud of her, but did she really write about writing? I think she has potential, but not at this rate. Hein? What just happened?

Please help me improve, I really (x3) need it!

WHAT DOES THE FUTURE LOOK LIKE?

I've mentioned before that I've always wanted to be a travel blogger. Despite the pandemic, I’m not so proud in announcing that I had traveled across Rajashthan during February. I also went for an after-vacation vacation to Goa in March. I have lots of stories. I might post them here.

I also wish to write “diary-like-professional-looking posts”. So that’s going to be a big part of my writing. Some bitter-sweet moments of my life, and drama, lots and lots of drama!

If you've made it till here, congrats, you are now part of my craziness :)