My Cancer Journey
My breast cancer diagnosis came when I was 33 years old. I felt a lump on the right side of my breast after noticing some discomfort there after an exercise.
My husband and I had been trying for another kid. A negative pregnancy test result dispelled my hopes of becoming pregnant again. I made an appointment for a diagnostic mammography and ultrasound with my doctor. A doctor walked in during my ultrasound and said she could perform a biopsy on the spot. Because of Covid, I had to go to the appointment by myself. The doctor insisted that I had a mass, and when I pressed for details, she said she did not believe the growth to be harmless.
Invasive breast cancer was verified by a phone call the next day. I felt utterly broken and stunned. For me personally, there was no history of breast cancer in my family. My son, who was 16 months old at the time, was my first concern. It was heartbreaking to consider his future without me.
A consultation with my surgeon was scheduled for a few days later. The fact that I still hadn't gotten my period was something I was aware of when I went to that appointment. Stress was undoubtedly to blame, but I decided to take another pregnancy test nonetheless and it was positive. When I found out I was pregnant the same week I was told I had cancer, I went through a roller coaster of emotions.
When I went to see my surgeon, he told me that it was quite likely that I would have to have the pregnancy terminated. Though I was partially ready for the news, having been pregnant for just around five weeks, the impact of the diagnosis was devastating nonetheless. When my husband and I heard the news, we both broke down into tears. Even my surgeon couldn't help but cry. She was concerned that there was no way to get me to the second trimester, when chemo could be administered safely, without risking my pregnancy. An enlarged lymph node under my arm was palpable to the surgeon, confirming our worst fears that the malignancy had spread to lymph nodes.
This is a day I will never forget. This appointment took place on a Friday afternoon, and later that night I received a phone call from my surgeon explaining that she had consulted with several oncologists, some of whom agreed that I should terminate the pregnancy, but that another oncologist thought there was a way to continue the pregnancy and had said that very recently recommendations were changing and that my life expectancy/outcome would not be affected.
My treatment plan was finalized after I spoke with her and my surgeon. The following week, I went in for a lumpectomy, during which 10 lymph nodes were taken out of my body. A total of 4 of those lymph nodes tested positive for malignancy. My doctor told me that because my lymph nodes were involved, it was possible that the cancer had spread to other parts of my body (stage IV).
I had a CT scan of my chest and a liver ultrasound to check for metastases in both organs, and both procedures were successful and without incident. The scans came back negative on both ends! The required contrast wasn't safe for the infant, therefore I couldn't do the bone scan. I spent 8 months worrying about whether or not I had stage IV breast cancer and whether or not I would live to see my children start their first day of school.
This has been the single most emotionally taxing experience of my life. The physical effects of cancer are widely acknowledged and discussed, but I don't think the mental and emotional toll is given the attention it deserves.
The bone scan I had done 5 days after giving birth to my HEALTHY baby girl was negative for any metastases. My BRCA 1 gene was found to have a mutation of uncertain significance during my treatment. I have decided to proceed with a double mastectomy followed by reconstruction, and then I will have 6 and a half weeks of radiation therapy.
I am relieved that the conclusion of my treatment is in reach. I also appreciate the help and encouragement I have received from my loved ones as I undergo treatment. I was a nurse working on a COVID unit when I was first diagnosed. The fear of contracting COVID while pregnant and through chemotherapy forced me to give up my job.
Because many of us are still in the workforce or raising young families, I believe that young women with cancer confront some particularly difficult conditions. With the support of my wonderful in-laws and all of our other friends and family members who sent us meals and care packages that would contain things for my husband and son, we were able to manage the loss of money and the need for assistance with my son.
Having so much love and support behind us has given us a better chance of beating this disease. Additionally, I have relied increasingly on my faith, which has strengthened immensely throughout this time. There were times when I prayed nonstop for the birth of a healthy child and the opportunity to watch my children mature. These things, which I have confidence in and hope for, are helping me to live again after cancer.
