Civilized Lies: Rejecting Morally Ambiguous Deceit as an Acceptable Practice
We are surrounded by a web of deception. We've come to expect some degree of dishonesty in all walks of life. The old adage, "trust nothing you hear and only half of what you see," says a lot about our contemporary jaded outlook. Exactly why is this an issue? Look no farther than people in positions of authority, those who have the ability to influence and alter the course of history. There are countless examples of lying and deceit in the United States alone, ranging from denials of sexual relations to the search for weapons of mass destruction to maintaining your current health care. In the end, these sound bits serve more as jokes for late-night talk programs than a warning that our moral compass may need to be calibrated." However, despite the fact that our country was built on the premise of openness, we've come to expect a steady stream of lies from our leaders, both in politics and the corporate sector.
This is a global problem, not just a problem for the United States of America. Japanese officials have been accused of lying about the threat of radiation resulting from the 2011 nuclear meltdown at Fukushima, which has now been proved. As long as those in authority are motivated by greed and self-interest, they will continue to push the boundaries of acceptable behavior. The more authority we grant them, the more they'll take away from us in return. What connection do you see between this level of deception and your claim that your friend's unattractive baby is gorgeous? Little lies and deceptions help us become more comfortable with the idea of lying; they help establish an environment that is favourable to more harmful lies. It is imperative that we set clear boundaries for what constitutes dishonesty so that we can all live in an honest society. Is it feasible for us to fulfill this seemingly difficult task? Focusing on dishonesty or mental illness is not the way to help those in need. Moving away from the sea of lies we willingly participate in and subject ourselves to on a daily basis is an important first step. Let's first and foremost put an end to these lies that we consider to be acceptable since they are the grains of sand that taint the water.
The courteous lie may appear to be the most noble, yet it is actually the most dangerous. As a result of the belief that we are rescuing someone else from emotional distress, we believe that lying is a useful social technique. Though well-intentioned, this strategy is counterproductive and does not improve our society as a whole. If we want to help others, we must be open and willing to say what they need to hear, and we must keep the message distinct from the messenger. Those who are honest, upfront, and sincere with you are the ones who add the greatest value to your life. As children, we are taught how to lie and when it is "acceptable" to do so: If you enjoy the sweater, tell Aunt Cindy so she knows you liked it. When we chastise and encourage our children for lying, aren't we sending contradictory messages? Instead, let's focus on teaching our children to be self-assured and to be able to accept criticism in stride. They may grow up to be grownups who can handle the truth and even enjoy it. Defensive lies, such as "I didn't take a cookie," are easy for kids to pick up on. To avoid punishment, embarrassment, or any other negative reaction to their behavior, children are taught that they can tell falsehoods. These habits can often be carried over into adulthood, when they are more aware of the consequences of their actions. When it comes to making mistakes, it is important to remember that we are "just human." Accepting responsibility for our actions and seeking forgiveness are both essential. If the full weight of the consequences of our actions were to fall on us, perhaps we would be more careful and thoughtful in our actions. It may appear morally incorrect to observers, but the guilty actor will have a personal rationale for morality built up from self-preservation. However, people are more likely to defend the use of defensive lies when they are used to protect others. And once more: If each of us were willing to accept responsibility for our own mistakes, we would not expect or request that someone tell a lie on our behalf.
The habit of lying for no reason is far more damaging than the practice of lying for any cause at all. It becomes second nature after years of practice with any skill, whether it's playing an instrument, painting, or building something. A acquired skill is more or less relegated to the realm of the subconscious because it is no longer being focused on the how-to. Lying is like a foreign language that we might use without even realizing it. For example, it is considered courteous to pretend to be interested in someone's well-being by asking "How are you?" when we may just greet strangers with well wishes such as "Good morning" or "Hello". Responders, like actors playing their parts, will often react with a "fine" or "good" regardless of their genuine answers. Lies are not only tolerated, they are expected in this context. There are innumerable examples of people being dishonest and making misleading claims throughout the course of a day. Robert S. Feldman, a noted psychologist, reported that 60% of persons lied at least once during a ten-minute talk (Feldman). Even the participants in the study were astonished by their own results, he claims. It's a good thing to make others happy, but this can be done to a greater and more satisfying extent. Instead of focusing on how we might give the appearance that we care about people, we need to figure out why we should.
The problem isn't limited to deceiving those around you. We're all guilty of lying to ourselves. People tell themselves that they didn't eat too much at a meal or that "chocolate is excellent for you" so they may devour the cake. Those who use drugs and alcohol are more likely to engage in this type of activity. For both their own sake and for the sake of others, they use lies to cover up their behavior. When we tell a lie for one reason, but tell ourselves it's for another, we're using the same kind of self-deception. It's common for people to say no to a friend's request to help with a move even though they genuinely don't have the time or energy to do so. A number of plausible excuses may have been given for not wanting to help, and some of them might even have been appropriate responses to the situation. Were you motivated by self-interest when you made up that lie? It's never a bad idea to take a step back and reevaluate our goals. A society of self-centered, self-absorbed performers who appear to care about others is the only alternative.
Truthfulness can, and often does, lead to or fail to avert harm, according to the opposing position. Some may claim that lying is acceptable in these situations. Moral absolutism was a belief held by the German philosopher Immanuel Kant that lying, stealing, and murder were morally wrong. He was asked if he would inform a killer how his friend had been murdered. The philosopher Kant was unwavering in his belief that it would be wicked to tell a lie to a murderer (Varden 403). Those who agree with Kant on that point are few and far between. A essential human right, the right to always hear the truth, should be included in the definition of lying, in my opinion. If it's legitimate for criminals to forfeit certain rights, people who plan to hurt should lose their right to the truth. As with other morally reprehensible crimes, such as murder, there will always be a small number of exceptions to the rule. Lying should only be used as a last option, not as a lubricant for the wheels of social dialogue. It's possible that lying and violence go hand in hand in the human psyche. Humanitarian revolutions are nothing new.
As we have done with capital punishment and the use of lethal injection as punishment, it is time to move on from this additional type of intentional assault on another person. It won't be long before individuals who deceive on a larger scale stand out as those who don't fit in with our ideas of progress and prosperity when we adopt a more rigid stance against deception. From the state of our economy to how we treat our planet, there is deceit at the heart of nearly every problem we face today. We lack clarity if we don't know the truth. Our future is shrouded in obscurity if we don't get our facts straight. Talk about it. Truth or a falsehood, what do we regard and respect?
