When I started loving her, I didn't have any idea that I was already loving her too hard. That's why when we fell apart, I didn't have anyone to cling to, except the pain. I realized that I did not only lose her, I also lost myself.

Now, it's been four months since I stuffed my pride down my throat so I could tell her that I still loved her and wanted her back, and after several times of constantly asking for a second chance, she finally agreed to see me so we could talk things over.

We agreed to meet in our favourite spot in town and while I was waiting for her arrival, I nervously held a plastic cup of coffee and stared at the cold soda I ordered for her. She didn't like coffee as much as I did.

It was four in the afternoon and the sun was just setting. When she finally arrived, she reached out to me and we hugged. It was a brief hug but I felt warm and comfortable on the inside. The nervousness I felt vanished like magic. Because that's what she always did. She kept me calm.

We strolled around town silently, our fingers clasping the drinks in our hands.

"It's funny how things changed, isn't it?" she, later on, asked without looking at me. I stared at her hands; those hands that used to hold mine when we were still together.

"Yeah. What happened to us, Carol?" I asked, trying to suppress a tear.

"You can't leave him. You know that's what happened."

I dropped my coffee on the solid ground as my arms automatically clung to her neck. I did not stop myself from crying anymore, and I did not care if I spilt my favourite drink on the ground. I needed her, I wanted her back. That's all I knew.

"I'm sorry. I don't know how to start again. I don't know how to forget you," I sobbed as my face snuggled on her chest.

"Just stop loving me, Thara," she whispered.

It hurt so much when she said that. She no longer had that sweet voice she used to have whenever she stops me from crying. All that I heard from her was coldness. She was colder than the soda that she was holding.

But no, no, no. I can't. I don't know how!

"I'm happy that you're still keeping him... He deserves you more than I did, and besides, I'm already seeing someone else now," she added.

I broke from the hug, feeling so embarrassed and broken. "Then tell me how to unlove you, Carol. It's hard."

She looked at me and gave me a wry smile. Wiping my tears, she replied, "You'll figure it out soon, babe. Don't worry, he will take care of you. Let's just be happy."

But how can I be happy? She was the source of my happiness.

She gently kissed my forehead and pulled me again into a hug. "Thank you for loving me this much. We've tried, and it was good. But good things must end too, Thara. It's for the best. Goodbye. Goodbye, Thara!"

I clung harder to her, sobbing and pleading but she pulled away. And that afternoon, I watched her walk away from me. She never gave me another glance.

I didn't know how many hours I stood there as I repeatedly cried and hopelessly wished that she'd come back to tell me that it was just a joke, that it was just a prank and we could still work things out, but she never did. She was gone. And a part of me went away with her.

My heart.