This was me in 2015-2018: a drunk, an insomniac, a cry baby, and a workaholic. I had episodes of panic attacks and experienced scary sleep paralyses. I also had the habit of hurting myself physically just to feel okay. And yes, I was a big hypocrite.

I wanted everyone to see that I was a happy person. I excelled in school, joined organizations, and posted pretty photos on social media. Everyone thought I was so independent and so brave, and yet I knew I wasn't. I was a broken soul. Circumstances in my life from childhood to early adulthood broke me from the inside. Yet, I refused to accept that ugly version of me! So, all throughout college, I continued being that happy and carefree person on the outside but a horrible creature in the inside.

It was a tough battle. No one knew how many times I had emotional breakdowns and how many times I tried to hurt myself. I just wanted to give up; I was so tired of my life.

I was alone.

But, only when I started accepting my weaknesses and surrendering it all to God did I become free. Because to fight and win against depression is to forgive yourself from all the mistakes you have made and bad decisions you've chosen. Forgiving yourself is always the first step.

If you're battling it now, I want you to know that I understand you. Do not allow depression to consume you. You deserve a life more than the darkness that lurks inside the chambers of your brain. Rely in yourself and in your faith. Those things are the only tickets to keep you sane.

I'm not saying that depression haven't left me completely but at least I'm much stronger now. And more positive in dealing with life. Yes, I admit there are times where I still have emotional breakdowns in the middle of the night and sometimes I still feel sad and empty. But I'm telling you now that I am coping up. I don't anymore WANT to claim that I'm depressed and that I don't deserve to live. We all deserve to live!

Give yourself a chance to be forgiven by you so that one day, when you become as triumphant as me, you'll also be posting a long message on your soc med timeline saying that finally, you are already FREE!