I walked through the cab station, breathless and desperately hoping to catch the last trip that would bring me back to my good old town. It had been a month since I left. I was sure that my mother was already waiting for me.

There was nothing particular in my mind as my feet quickly walked past this crowded place. It had only been a month but I was sure I finally got over it; no more crying and midnight snacking, no more stalking and hurting.

I guess I was good at moving on.

I was so sure about my assessment and so I felt happy when I got the last seat in the cab. I was so sure that I'd swear I was smiling with the kind of smile that would rip my face in half. Suddenly I felt excited to face another life without her.

I was so sure that it was already too late for me to brace myself for the most unexpected moment of my life; she was here, inside the cab, and I didn't see that coming.

My world stopped moving the moment my eyes darted to her face. It was the same face I'd try to forget for the last four weeks of not going back to town. It was the same face that hunted my dreams and caused pain in my heart.

"Hey," she said.

I replied with a smile and immediately put it into a facade. All of a sudden, all the hurt that I had been trying to block seeped within me like a vacuum cleaner. I thought I was okay. I thought...

My heart started to run at full speed and the black hole that had been living just above my stomach started moving. I didn't want her to know that she still affected me. I didn't want her to hear the beatings of my heart caused by her presence. Damn, I thought this pathetic heart had already forgotten her.

As she sat in front of me, her hair's glowing in the ray of light that passed through it. I felt her coldness towards me and the apathy she displayed for me to see. Such aloofness flew through the air like graffiti being inked in a wall.

Suddenly, a hand nudged my side and another familiar face smiled brightly at me.

"Oh my God, Janice! How are you?" she said. I smiled and replied, "I'm good. It's nice to see you here."

It's a good thing another friend of mine was there, occupying the seat beside me. Throughout the ride, I conversed with my friend and tried to stop shooting glances at my ex-girlfriend. But when I got off from that cab, I couldn't stop myself from thinking what her thoughts were like when I appeared in front of her.

Was she surprised like I was? Did I still affect her somehow?

Such thoughts truly hurt me as I walked the familiar path leading to my parents' house. Her thoughts about me shouldn't matter anymore, but knowing how much she regretted our memories together cut deep through the core. Only because we fell in love with each other.

It happened last summer, and for me, it was the best summer of my life.

I was wrong when I made myself think that a month of hiding and ignoring will heal the pain caused by the breakup. A month wouldn't and couldn't heal it all. I still love her. And yet I have to accept the fact that it's over. It just can't be. She said it herself.

I hope I'll move on. Someday. I hope.