How to become better at making conversations

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4 years ago

A lot of people hate small talk, especially with strangers or people you don’t particularly know well. Remember that time you were stuck in traffic with the pretty lady beside you and you just kept looking at her without knowing what to say? Well, we want to help you so you don’t feel that way anymore.

Like every other thing, conversation is an art that is learnt and mastered by practice. Nobody was born saying hello to the midwife, people who are good at it simply picked up stuff along the way and so can you too.

The first step at making conversation is really simple and yet mind blowing. Ready for it? Say hello! Yes, that’s it. Say hello or hi or good morning or how’re you. Make a remark about your location or the weather or something. Really anything works. And say it with a smile too. What do you have to lose? You could end up with a gruff “I’m fine”, or you could end up meeting your future wife. You could also follow it up with a complement and question. E.g. “Your earrings look nice, where did you get them”. Most people love to feel good about themselves sand talk about themselves so making a statement like that allows them do both of them at the same time.

Also learn to listen to whoever you’re talking to and ask questions based on what they told you. Don’t just listen so you can reply and tell them about that story about what happened to you in 2002. Be an active listener, pay attention to what they say and give them cues that you are listening. Open ended questions are great because they allow for a greater flow of conversation. E.g. it’s better to ask “who’s your favorite artist”, than asking “Drake is your favorite artist right?”

Stay away from divisive issues and topics, it’s just better to find common ground. There’ll be plenty time to share your opinions about why the patriarchy must die later. Now though, just stick to the easier stuff.

Avoid asking questions that are too personal and don’t overshare. There’s still such a thing as too much information. Finally, know when to shut up and stop talking. Best to leave when the ovation is the loudest, that way they don’t have to remember you as the guy who would not shut up and keep running from you.

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Avatar for Sokoga
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