Usually we use the word "tolerance" without clarifying its concept and specifying mechanisms and ranks for it so that a person can get rid of the effects of abuse without leaving deep scars.
No matter how much we claim to override the situation, it only reappears on the surface whenever the light falls on it and returns it to the arena, and perhaps with stronger and more painful complex feelings for reasons related to the mechanisms of self-clearing.
And due to leaving some issues stuck or ambiguous, we are subjected to repetition of practices that are least said to be uncomfortable, and misunderstanding or appreciation turns into devotion to a specific pattern for a reciprocal relationship based on repulsive polarity (such as: superstructural / inferior).
The process of tolerance and reconciliation is essential for living in peace and psychological security, and getting rid of the inferior situation on which the action falls and suffices with the reaction.
However, we have to understand that if there is a perpetrator, this means that the victim allowed himself to be the victim, which reduces the directing of absolute responsibility towards the aggressor and reduces the size of the hatred and anger towards him.
We give up our anger when we recognize the aggressor’s mental shadows and logic in life, and we know that he is a prisoner of his perception and understanding of life and his destructive feelings. According to Young’s theory, psychological models and psychological functions are of great importance in understanding the behaviors of individuals and groups and understanding their reactions In front of the instigations of the outside world and its challenges.
The soul is a self-adjusting device.
Therefore, in order to make any change, work must be done on several personal and objective levels through the application of what can be considered mechanisms. We enumerate some of them as follows:
We must be sensitive to ourselves, we forgive ourselves first to get rid of pain or anger. Tolerance is one of the keys to the process of liberation and healing.
Trying to understand the other and to identify his motives, purposes and circumstances. Because understanding helps us to find the best ways to accept and be able to choose the quality of the relationship with people.
Disclosure and frankness, gentle admonition to clear hearts, put points on letters, and make others understand the limits of our ability to accept behaviors and tolerate transgressions.
Training in absenteeism, overtaking, or neglect, and focusing on the most important, the most important, and the positive. It "happens that some see you stupid and does not know that you treat him stupidly, and it also happens that he sees you very tolerant and he does not know that he is too young to have a reaction for him."
Recreating the bridges of love, affection, compassion and concern in a special and focused way, so that we can heal wounds
Not to play the role of the victim, and to strive to convert negative feelings into heroics and successes.
The complete conviction that we deserve the most beautiful things in life and that we have the right to stop at any moment and start over.
If the other person does not accept reconciliation and forgive us for our mistake in his direction, then we have the right to abandon him and make him understand that by that he allows the relationship that binds us to him not to develop and thus he is the only loser, because on our part we sincerely apologized and reconciled with ourselves and liberated us. .
Remember the Lord of the Worlds forgiveness.
When someone hurts you, he takes something from you, takes your self-respect, dignity, love, your joy, and he will go, whether it is with your approval or enmity on your behalf.
And when you forgive, you take back everything, provided that forgiveness is at the level of the mind and the heart, for forgiveness is a power that liberates and heals.
Therefore, the more our self-esteem and our awareness of others' selves and of what things and relationship we have with them, the more we can give them their true size without losing much of our size.
And as has been said, three are in tolerance:
The fool does not forgive and does not forget
The good forgives and forgets
As for the wise, he forgives and does not forget
And people who cannot forgive, usually they cannot regret something nor admit their mistakes, so do not be one of them.
