Oh man... I feel almost feel like I'm having a heart attack or something. I can't stop sweating, my chest is pounding.. oh.. and there's the vomit again.. typical.
"That's the guy," the rides attendant seems to have notified a supervisor of sorts. "That's the one."
"Excuse me Sir, I've been informed of your rowdy behavior and weak stomach," he says whilst pointing to the mess that iv made of the rides seat and myself. " If this continues, I'm afraid that we will have to ask you to leave."
"But I've still got a bunch of cupons," I say in my defense. The supervisor rolls his eyes at me before vanishing into a nearby crowd. Well.. I guess that I just "got told!"
I couldn't shake a certain feeling that I had about the supervisor. Why would a Carny be so well groomed and so well dressed? This guy looked more like a businessman than anything else. I had a sneaking suspicion, that wouldnt be the last I'll see of him tonight.
After realizing that my Jumper is now totally FUBR, I decide to buy a new one from the only vendor at the carnival who appears to be selling clothing. What the ..? All of the jumpers here have strange, iledgible slogans on them. I pickout one that at least looks cool before finally disgarding my manky jumper. I decide to walk around for a bit before heading onto my next ride. During this time, I start to ponder over a few things. What was with the Alien in the UFO? Was that kid on the Ranger even real.. or the girl on the Ghost train? What am I still doing here and is something or someone trying to kill me or is it all in my head? Well.. I can atleast answer one of those questions. I'm still here becauae 1. I love Carnival rides and 2. I'm a complete tight ass. My ride cupons are non refundable and I'll be damned if I dont get my moneys worth out of tonight. Near death experiences or not! It's time for another thrilling, ride related adventure!!
I think that its about time for a change of pace. Maybe I've been going on rides that are just too risky. I mean seriously, who has ever heard of something going wrong in a Fun house - what could possibly go wrong? I wait in line behind a bunch of kids ranging from about 8 til early 20s. I'm suprised to see that they all appear normal.. well, in comparison to the Ranger kid. I hand over my coupons and step through the entrance. Nothing strange about this at all so far. The interior of the fun house is well lit and vibrant with bright, contrasting colours and an obvious circus theme going on. There are large, cartoonsih images of circus acts being performed. There's a lion tamer, acrobat, strongman, various animals and of course, Clowns.
You know what.. I know what you're thinking.. and the answer is no! I'm not afraid of Clowns!! If anything, I think they're awesome. Not the new age ones with the oversized boxer shorts, the lazy makeup and pathetic attempts at comedy. I mean the oldshool ones with the full faced makeup, frilly colourful outfits and the ability to juggle and do other tricks. I'm happy to say that those are the kind being displayed here. There are bright red painted arrows on the floor indicating where to go, despite the fact that things are obviously quite linear in here. All I can hear is the sounds of children laughing and having a good time. I've actually got a good feeling about this one.
I venture through the fun house, enjoying the various mild thrills contained within. There's a set of moving floor boards, a hallway of dangling plastic tape, spinning platforms, ladders to climb, a rotating cylindrical hallway - lots of fun for children of all ages. After making my way down many entertaining hallways, I eventually find myself in a hall of mirrors. Cmon.. if anything creepy was going to happen at all in this place, surely it would happen here. To my suprise.. nothing weird happened at all. The kids weren't phased by the mirrors either - they were far more concerned with eachother and having fun, other than worrying about any possibility of danger within their midst. Maybe the horror is finally over.
I climb up another ladder which leads to a caged area outside of the fun house. A Carny sits perched on a high chair next to what appears to be the entrance of a slippery slide. There's a line up of about 10 kids, all waiting to go down. I guess this must be the exit or something. The Carny gives me a very odd look for some reason and its the first time since I'd entered the fun house that I start to feel a little edgy. One by one, the kids go down the slide, each one letting out a scream of excitement as gravity asserst itself and sends them rapidly to the exit below. Oh.. its my turn now. Why is this Carny looking at me like that? His expression is likened to that of someone who just copped a wiff of someone else's fart. Do I smell? It could be the vomit. I sit down at the entrance to the slide, wait for the Carny to give me the go ahead and I push myself down the slide.
"Yaaaaaaaay," I let out an involuntary reaction to the thrill of the slippery slide, which was actually a lot of fun. At the end of the slide, I stand up, take a few steps, then notice a red painted arrow on the floor.. pointing to the same hallway I'd walked down when I'd first entered the fun house. I turned around, only to find that the slide had dissappeard and been replaced by a wall. Okay.. now things are slowly turning again.
I walk down the same hallways, go through the same obstacles, even pass some of the same kids.. but there aren't as many this time around. Whilst walking through the hall of mirrors for the second time, I couldn't help but feel like I was being watched. I mean, sure, there were hundreds of myself being reflected in all directions... but it was almost as if some of my reflections had minds of their own. I climbed the ladder, got stared at by the Carny again and went back down the slide. Slightly less thrilling this time. I got to the bottom, only to find that the same thing had happened.
The slide was gone, a wall was up and I soon realized that id become stuck in a strange loop. Things looked a bit different this time though. The painted arrows on the floor looked freshly painted with something other than paint this time. There were even fewer kids running around and these ones looked more frightened and confused rather than trilled and excited. I went through the same old obstacles again. This time though, they seemed to be worn out and rusted. The halls we're full of the sounds of old grinding metal with an occasional whimper from a frightened child. This time in the hall of mirrors, it was fairly obvious that most of my reflections were giving me death stares. It appeared that given the chance, they would have liked to leap out of the mirrors and kill me. Up the ladder again and ready to go down the slide.. but whats this.. there's no line. Its just me. I decide to ask the Carny about the whole loop thing.
"What loop thing.. I don't know what you're talking about."
"Seriously... but I was up here less than 5 minutes ago."
"Never seen you before in my life mate, now shut the fuck up and go down the shute."
"... you mean slide," I asked.
"Errr yeah... Slide," he muttered back.
"Now get down there before I have to call my supervisor."
I make my way down the slide one more time. I shudder to think of whats waiting for me at the end this time.
