A proud mother of Nathan..

It took a while for me to write this second article not because I don't have topics in mind (I actually have a lot in mind!) but because I wanted to prioritize what topic to write first. Until I came up with the topic that I really wanted to.. "Motherhood."

From the title of my blog "I am Shy.. a proud mother of Nathan" (if you noticed, from my first blog, the title was "I am Shy" and up to this blog, the title is still connected to my new blog, just saying). I really am proud when I became a mother. Giving birth was the best thing that ever happened to me and being Nathan's mother, my 4 year-old son is much rewarding.

I gave birth when I was 35 yrs old thru caesarian delivery. It was painful but it paid off when I saw my son. I'm not too young but definitely not too old when I got pregnant. This is also because I went into a relationship when I was already 26. I remember when I told myself that I wanted to have a baby at the age of 27 which didn't happen. But I prayed for it, until, it was answered.

When Nathan came, almost everything changes. Speechless when I first saw him in the hospital especially when he was beside me in the bed. A very angelic and sweet face he was. He was the best gift that I ever received in my life. Until we came home, relatives and friends visited us to see Nathan and his father also came to visit since he was not there during my delivery.

Before, I still can't believe that I have a baby. That he came from me. I was in maternity leave for 3 months and it seems that time flies so fast that I wanted to let it stop to be with my son 24/7. I enjoyed taking care of him. Breastfeeding him, bathing him, changing his diapers, feeding him etc.. It is tiring but a fulfilling job. Though there were sleepless nights, it doesn't matter as long as I'm with my son making sure he's safe always.

Until I need to get back to work. It was very hard. Any mothers can relate especially first time moms like me. I was crying in the vehicle while travelling to the office and it felt like I'm having separation anxiety. I missed him already. I was unease at work and worried because I'm not there when he is hungry or crying. Until I got used to it and also, for the reason that I need to work for him. I am working in the office 5 days a week and my parents are taking care of him while I'm at work.

Nathan is now a big boy. He is super hyper but at the same time, a very sweet boy. Its a music to my ear whenever he says, I love you "mama" whenever I got mad at him. He is very playful and wants to play outside with the other kids. He is also into mobile games but I control him with those. How I missed those times when he just wants to be carried. But now, he is no longer a baby. He can do some of the things by himself.

Most of the time, I'm stressed at work but when I got home seeing his face smiling and calling me "mama", those problems were all wiped out. It seems my energy is back again because of him. I know that when he gets older, he will have more time with his friends and less with me. He will be ina relationship. But that's fine. As long as I saw my son grow happily and healthy everyday, that is fine. That's what matters to me. Every mother always wants the best for their children.

It's just sad to see nowadays that minors are not allowed to go out because of this pandemic. They can not go outside to go to school, malls and do outdoor activities. They don't have social activities anymore. They are now focused with online games and in social media. But I can say that this pandemic has good sides in a way. Most of us are working from home now which means more time with our family and children. I can work and at the same time, take care of my son. Though I know that everything will go back to normal for all of us.

Every mother is tough and needs to be tougher for their children. I am proud to be a mother. I am proud to be Nathan's mom. Like every mother in the world, we always want what's best for our kids. I want him to finish his studies, to have a stable job and have his own happy family in the future. I want him to be happy. I want him to fulfill his dreams, to be independent, respectful and a God fearing man.

-Thank you for reading my blogs.

I am Shy and I want to thank all of you for the support and love.