It Isn't an Ordinary Scroll

Hello Awesome people!

Today, I thought I have a shift. Ever since I moved from our house to a small apartment, I always had time to visit a friend. We talked about problems and all. I maybe spent almost 4hrs at my friends house. At 4pm, I asked my friend that I need to go back to my apartment, to eat and sleep coz I really thought I have a shift at 2 in the morning.

When I saw my friend playing her tiktok dance, I remember that we had a contest at work. We need to dance a tiktok challenge entitled "Diko na mapipigilan" song. I need back up dancers as it's part of the criteria. Since we were three: ate, unnie and I, I asked them if we can do the challenge but ate says she can't dance😁. So yes, we go on our separate ways. I go back to the apartment, ate take a bath and unnie goes home.

At our apartment:

Unnie and I had a lunch at the apartment, so first I did when I came is, I fixed my things up, set up everything and then I sleep. We actually had burger before we go our separate ways with unnie only since ate is at home.

I set my alarm to 1:30 am as usual.

At 1:31am.

I brushed my teeth and wash my face. I dry my face with a face towel and put water in a heater. I actually can't go to work without coffee. Afterwards, I set up my pc for work. I was so in a hurry coz my headphone isn't working again. I need to restart or shutdown the pc or plug and unplug the headphone. I have two headphones but neither one of them is working.

I got panicked. So when my pc is up, I asked my Team Lead if I can be in systemdown for few minutes just to set up everything. In a few, he calls me in teams but he can't hear me due to my headphone. So he hang up and send me a personal message saying "why are you logged in?, you are on VL(Vacation Leave) today?

And to my surprise, OMG! I really thought I have work today! 🥺😔

So, I apologized to TL coz I don't want him to think and I'm" lutang" again. And said, maybe I was just so excited and dedicated to work😊

I was on my phone, checking bitcoincom and Abra. It's still low. I got bored and started to brows tiktok.

There are videos that are mainly singing and dancing and some, are about life and God.

(1) Gary V. Once said "we are living on his time. Tony G. Asked Gary:" So, when the time comes that we graduate here on earth and meet your creator face to face. What do you wanna tell him?".

He answered that he thinks he will be going to be speechless. Beacause it is also written that "no eye has seen", "no ear has heard", and "no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those that love him."

And he thinks that he will also be saying "I'm sorry" because there are times that he could have, what he should have. He could have done this, but he didn't do it. He should have done this, he shouldn't have done this but he did.

(2) A pastora once said that she came to a time that she never talked to anyone about her problems only to God because God will never say anything that will hurt her. God will never judge her. God will know everything she felt even to those things she cannot say to him.

(3) A lady once said "it hurt like hell to walk away, because I still love you. But I realized I couldn't stay in a situation that continued to hurt me. In my heart, I knew that eventually time would heal this wound. But, by staying I was just prolonging and delaying the healing and hurting myself. So I finally let go. And yes it hurt so much.

Tony G's question: what do you wanna tell God if you meet him face to face?

I would probably say "thank you and I'm sorry". Coz I am just to thankful for everything he let me borrow. I was able to experience being loved, belong and live like a normal person with no disabilities. Though struggles break me inside and out but he never leave me. He's been their willing to listen to all my pains. I know sometimes life is unfair but I have my family and friends who helped feel what love is in an unfortunate times. And sorry because, there are times that I lost myself. I was put in a situation where making a decision is so hard for me that I was tempted to do the wrong thing because there are people I don't want to lose, I wanna be with, especially when I lost my father.

And yes, I always surrender God everything. Asked guidance and all for we can't do anything without him.

Love and relationship.

I have this thing in my mind about my relationship. Walking away was one of my choice but I chose to stay. It was never been guaranteed that he will change but I know that he isn't perfect, that no one is, except God.

There are times that hurt is like unbearable for me. I know my feelings are valid. Sometimes, I can't feel myself anymore. I feel like I become someone else not me anymore. But I know our relationship is still worth it. Relationship is not all about happiness. Things may changed. Time will Come that the spark will be gone and the happiness.

But the relationship you have with person before, was amazing. That you can still have that feelings again. It's just that your relationship is not perfect. It will be roller coaster journey with him but the thing is you are with the person you love. That what will matter the most.

That is all for today readers. You can share your thoughts too about Tony G's question in comment section below. I will reply as soon as I can. Thank you!

-shinhye here❤️