Jealousy in Relationship
Jealousy is a common feeling in relationships. This might be the reason many people think that it is not proof of true love and because it is often driven by some kind of wishes which manifest in a person whom one has been attracted to. Thus, it could be a proof of self-interest. The basic causes of jealousy in relationships are: insecurity, obsessive love, desperation, self-interest and dependency.
. Insecurity: Jealousy is a product of insecurity. The lest secure the relationship or partner, the more he or she is prone to jealousy. It could be seen when a partner feels threatened and the more this happens, the more jealous he/she will feel. Threats which result to insecurity of relationship may be real or imagined. Imaginary signs of disaster are often seen by in secured people and if the person thought to be threatening the relationship is attractive, intelligent and successful, more threatened, disturbed and suspicious will he/ she become, except he or she comes to the understanding that the relationship is moving on excellently.
. Obsessive love: This is an abnormal love that makes a person to think too much of his or her lover so that no thought of anything else is appealing to him/her. Some people consider it as a very high degree of love for someone who is attracted to another but it triggers jealousy. This is because the obsessed partner will act strangely any moment his/her partner is communicating or walking with someone, more especially, the opposite s3x even when such conversation is genuine and free from unfaithfulness. If this not checked can lead to battery and murder.
. Desperation: Jealousy is most of the time fuelled by desperate desire which reveals strong need from a partner for what the other person has. If the desperate partner does not get what he or she wants, such partner begins to look for inadequacies and analyse the other person to see if he or she is capable of performing better. This kills relationships and has led to separation of partners in different parts of the world. Thus, relationships should not be built on desperation.
. Selfish-interest: This can be seen when a partner considers his or her needs as the most important and does not care about things that would help the other person. It triggers jealousy in relationships. Hence, partners should be concerned about what each of them wants, show interest and seek to help each other achieve success in every genuine activity.
. Dependency: This has to do with unnecessary and unreasonable reliance on a partner. It can be very boring to one's partner even if he or she does not complain. Dependency endangers relationships and fuels jealousy. Therefore, partners should avoid it perhaps by contributing in the relationship and engaging in activities that can make them a little independent.
It is important to note that men and women react to jealousy differently because it is an ego thing too. The initial reaction is an emotional outburst that is filled with clinging violent, anger, self-criticism, depression, hurt and resentment which could be as a result of money and thought of the future, the urge for revenge, loneliness and regrets at sacrifices made. To this end, partners should disclose their true feelings that might trigger jealousy and seek support through counseling. However, bear in mind that the greatest shield against jealousy is self-esteem and self-confidence.
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