Do you know what assertiveness is?
Assertiveness is the ability to calmly express your thoughts, tastes and emotions to the people around you; avoiding falling into provocation and fear of not being able to consent to other people's tastes.
In order to communicate assertively, a certain degree of emotional and psychological stability is required, where your self-esteem and self-control play a fundamental role since they must be consistent in order to be able to “deal” in a balanced way with the ideas of other people.
People are not born being assertive, it is a communication model that develops throughout our lives and its bases of learning are fostered from childhood.
What characterizes an assertive person?
The assertive person is empathetic, she feels free to express herself, to express her thoughts and feelings without hurting those around her.
Has the ability to communicate effectively with other people in an open, simple, sincere and direct way, whether they are acquaintances or strangers.
In his emotional universe, he is capable of accepting or rejecting people who may or may not be his friends, in a delicate, yet firm way.
The assertive person is proactive, knows what he wants and works to achieve his goals. He is not waiting for things to magically turn out.
In each of her expressions, she feels respect for herself and accepts and recognizes her limitations, as well as having a high self-esteem (she loves, values herself and accepts herself as she is).
Manifests and avoids extremes such as repression and aggressive and destructive expressions.
What should I do to be an assertive person?
Learn to draw your limits by knowing when to say “NO”. so you can decide whether or not to accept requests that are made to you. You don't need to say yes to everything for others to accept you. Many times saying no to others is saying YES to yourself. Sometimes when we say "No" to others we are saying "YES" to ourselves.
You must clearly state what you really want since sometimes we have conflicting emotions that we cannot know where they come from and why.
You are one of the people who express themselves openly or you remain silent. You must analyze your behavior before making any changes in your life, this will help you make the best decision.
When you want to express a message use the first person. Focus more on yourself than the other person.
You must be direct and concise. When you try to give a lot of explanations, you give the impression that you are looking for a way to excuse yourself. Try to be as direct as concrete, with the information. You do not need to justify your opinion or decision.
We also speak with ours, many times the words accompany us with gestures that reiterate the message we want to express, due to this that when accompanying an assertive message your body posture must convey security. Your face must transmit positivity or neutrality.
If you find it difficult to express yourself, it is recommended that you rehearse your speech, practice it out loud in similar scenarios.
Breathe deeply before reacting to intense emotions since in those moments we respond inappropriately with exaggerated rage that wipes out everything. To have a better control of our words, it is preferable to breathe deeply several times and calm down before reacting.
People who are usually passive tend to let injustices go by for fear of being rejected or feeling that they do not have the right to express their feelings. But not by not expressing yourself what you get is closing yourself up. The people around you do not have the ability to guess what happens to you or what you expect of them. With assertiveness, it will be much easier for you to explain yourself and for others to understand you without having to guess your feelings.
Try to avoid value judgments. When you go to expose the facts do so without making judgments of values or personal qualifications as it can cause harm to the other person. It is not the same that someone has made a mistake, to tell him that he is incapable.
Being an assertive person does not mean being right in everything, but rather being able to recognize that you may be wrong and being able to remain calm, as well as knowing how to listen and understand other people.
Do you consider yourself an assertive person? Do not stop commenting.
