An unpublished letter....

An unpublished letter

I call you "Ava" (I affectionately called her Ava)

At the beginning of the writing I request you not to read the letter except in solitude and late at night.

Because you can't feel the words of the letter except in the middle of the night.

Ka ... Ron, in the middle of the night people give up artificiality and catch it to their own minds. It is 1.45 pm.

How are you Surprised? In fact, it should be a surprise.

The man who used to be able to close his eyes and say how are you, he wants to know himself today !!!

I'm not good. I thought I'd better forget you.

But I could not forget you, I could not be good. The mind is not ruled, it has the opposite effect.

So maybe as much as I want to forget you, you are clinging to my heart.

The unconditional love you have given me will never be forgotten.

In fact, not everyone has the ability to protect loved ones.

But even if I can't keep you, I keep our memories.

Well, do you see the moon now? In the midst of hundreds of engagements I still see the moon.

And I call you in the usual way. Although the word sorry comes from the other side every day.

The moon is my only friend now. No matter how harshly I tell him, he doesn't hate me at all.

Just looking at me with one eye, and seeing my simplicity is full of madness.

But when his heart is cloudy, he is a little arrogant towards me.

Soon he came running from behind the clouds to see me.

Once I fell asleep talking to her, she still stared at me through the window and smiled.

I fell asleep before saying goodbye to him, but there was no sign of pride in his eyes.

The moon was a silent witness to our love. When I saw the moon in love with you, it seemed that the moon was tipping and adorning your forehead.

Now the moon does not look as beautiful as before, maybe the moon has wounded itself by not being able to bear the consequences of our love.

When he sees me, he hides in the clouds. Ava I'm a big mess now. The rose seedlings you gave me dried up due to lack of care, just like my tears.

Boys usually don't let anyone see or feel their cries. So maybe you never felt my tears. Sometimes I don't even understand what I'm doing.

I unknowingly hurt others. Sometimes I want to shout, O cruel world, I can no longer.

I don't know why I like to hurt my loved ones. Honestly, these are not my intentions.

In fact, my life is like that, moving like the wind but without purpose.

Look, suddenly I came into your life, I said love, then all of a sudden it stopped.

Did I say that if you leave me like this? Just looking at the word of mouth, not once did you try to understand the language of my mind.

You don't love me so much !!! If I hadn't received your call, you would have stopped eating.

Your mother used to call me and tell me everything. Then I would try hard to break your anger with the phone.

This love of yours is very good. Ava, I love you too much but I don't have the ability to explain that.

If I could, I would let this mortal world know how much I love you. I couldn’t wake up the night before.

I like to talk to you at night, so I had to talk to you many nights.

I never said I was falling asleep. I know every girl is a little stupid type.

The more love there is, the more foolish it becomes like a child. When he suddenly got a little hard, he could not sleep and cried.

But they do not understand how much love was behind this trouble. I never wanted to make you cry.

If you could feel my love in your heart you could never leave me.

You had only one complaint, I am very angry and I do not have the thing called compromise.

You know, I'm not angry anymore. All my anger has now turned into a dream. I have a favorite river.

The wish was that we would visit there often. We will have a bungalow very close to the river. The bungalow will have a strangely beautiful name.

The name will be your choice. There will be a ghat built of white stone very close to the bungalow.

I will sit on the stairs at the top of the ghat, and you will be sitting very close to the water with your soft feet touching the water.

And sometimes he will sprinkle a little water on me. Stay tuned. I may dream a little too much.

I want to think of everything as my own. I don't believe Mazar Sharif so much. However, when I went to visit the shrine of a great saint, I used to hear that if I made a vow in the name of the saints, my hopes would be fulfilled.

Then I only wanted you in my mind with half faith. Maybe I lost you because I lacked faith.

I have heard that if you want something from your heart, it is fulfilled. I want from the bottom of my heart that the people you love love you the most in the world.

May you be happier in life. And my life? May God end my life as silently and unknowingly as my tears.

Ava, tell me what to do? My first love on one side and you on the other. I can't forget you or him.

I could not tell you about Shakila. But I said so that you can never disbelieve me.

Is this my crime? You know, sometimes it feels like I'm walking alone along the bank of that river and sitting on the pavement paved with sandstone.

And I'm in a trance, just waiting to hear a word "Know I'm back". Look, all of a sudden I started going crazy again.

You know, I'm like that now. Where I say not to say.

This is not my letter to bring you back today, this is my letter to express my unrequited love.

I am sure one day in life you will be able to feel my love from the heart.

And on that day, a word of compassion will be uttered from your mouth for me, "Some people may come to this world in selfless love and suffering."

Ava I really can't anymore. Today I am very tired from walking alone on the river bank.

I thought we would have a HAPPY ENDING like one of the most successful LOVE STORY.

And I think you know the end of our LOVE STORY is not HAPPY but successful.

Because there is still enough love between the two. Is there no other way to return the aura?

I want to see the moon with you again at night, I want to talk to you on the phone for many nights.

I can't explain to you how difficult it is to lose your dearest person and how difficult it is not to be able to find yourself in front of him.

What can I say, maybe you are not in the line of hand. If you ever hear I'm gone, don't disbelieve. Because even now I have to taste death while I am alive.

I can now clearly hear the footsteps of death. Maybe that's my destiny. Be happy No more writing, it's four o'clock at night.

And if you write too much, maybe you will stop reading. Then it is seen that my letter is not being HAPPY ENDING.

My last request to you, even if it is nothing to hear the news of my death, to write this letter, the tears that have fallen, the purpose of my memory in love is to shed at least those tears.

Maybe that will be the HAPPY ENDING of my LIFE.