Hello everyone, today I’m going to introduce the fifteenth lesson of the Harvard University online public course "Happiness Class".
Professor is Tal Banshaha, PhD in philosophy and psychology from Harvard University. He offers two courses, "Positive Psychology" and "Leadership Psychology".
This course is translated from "NetEase Open Course" and is called "Happiness Class". The following content is my focus and experience.
Lesson 15, Perfectionism (4)
Youtu.be/5KTG7pHqowI
Regarding perfectionism, as mentioned in the previous article, why are so many people unwilling to let go of perfectionism?
The reason is that many people believe that perfectionism is the fastest and most effective way to success.
Professor pointed out in this lesson that "no pain, no return", this idea is not necessarily correct.
Compared with perfectionism, people who pursue excellence are more successful in all aspects of internal and external development.
The first point is to pursue excellence and enjoy a sustainable growth process.
Because in the process of pursuing goals, people who pursue excellence will know how to temporarily deviate, interrupt or rest, and will not live in a state of constant force, but know how to change and adjust elastically.
Therefore, the pursuit of excellence in development makes it easier to stick to it for a long time.
In the book "How the First-Class People Stay on Top", the author explains the way to succeed:
Stress + rest = success.
But the development of perfectionism believes in "either all or nothing", unwilling to rest, unwilling to change direction, unwilling to make adjustments, and just want to move forward in a straight line.
Therefore, when encountering obstacles or setbacks, it is easy to choose to give up.
Even if you can persist, you will often accumulate stress or illness that exceeds your physical and mental capacity. This development is not only unhealthy, but also endangers your long-term success.
The second point is that the pursuit of excellence has more inherent motivation than perfectionism. The explanation here is more abstract. It may be that the meaning of the translation is not clearly conveyed.
But according to the courses taught by the previous professors, it should be said that people who pursue excellence will be more balanced in the establishment of habits, so they can reduce more willpower consumption and avoid degrading behavior enthusiasm.
But perfectionism is less likely to establish specific habits in behavior. Due to the pursuit of quick relationships, it is possible to fall into a state of overwork or excessive rest.
For example, the same is the completion of homework. People who pursue excellence will build a habit of completing a part at a fixed time every day.
Because I know I can finish it on time, I can play or rest with peace of mind in the remaining time.
There are two extreme developments in perfectionism. One is to complete all the homework immediately, and the other is to delay the completion of the homework until the end.
Therefore, the enthusiasm of perfectionism in the pursuit of goals sometimes tends to be more than three minutes.
The third point is self-prediction. People who pursue excellence will face failure and learn to rise from failure. This experience will form self-confidence, make him believe that he will succeed, and finally form self-predictions.
Churchill: "Perfectionism paralyzes people."
If we worry too much about failure, we may not act.
Perfectionism will habitually procrastinate. Because of the fear of failure, the idea that as long as you don’t do it, you won’t fail.
Because he was unwilling to give, he believed that he would fail, and finally failed.
The fourth point is to accept changes.
Try different things, take different paths, take advantage of these small changes, and deviate from the straight line of life, you may get some good opportunities.
I see things I haven’t seen in the past, and I can even get in touch with different people.
Perfectionists hate change, only follow the same path, get used to a constant lifestyle, do not deviate, do not change, and lack enthusiasm.
The perfectionist student thinks that this can avoid emergencies, and even thinks that it can reduce misfortune, but in fact they are afraid of change.
The pursuit of perfection is human nature, and it is also human intuition.
So it is not to eliminate perfectionism, nor to become a perfect pursuit of excellence.
Instead, the idea of learning to accept perfectionism will always exist, and by establishing the habit of pursuing excellence, the impact of perfectionism can be reduced.
The relationship between the number of words, the next chapter of Lesson 15 will introduce the Eighty and Twenty Rules and the origin of perfectionism.
I’m going to introduce it today, thank you for watching.
