I have updated this post from its original lackluster beginnings. I am putting my personal guarantee that these tips will definitely make you real player in the cryptoverse.
Make sure to jump into a crypto that everyone is talking about and has shot way up recently. You know more than all those people that already made millions. If a crypto is way up, hop on, it can only go higher. Don’t be like the noobs that buy stuff when it is down, it is just on its way to zero at that point.
Sign up for as many sites as you can that will pay you in crypto for taking surveys. You can make more money on these sites than you can actually investing and mining. Follow every lead you come across that can earn you thousands of dollars of crypto just by clicking ads. Faucets are great, if you click them enough, you can make real money. Try This One.
Pay attention to what Warren Buffett is saying about crypto, he has decades of experience in value investing and obviously knows a lot about it.
Make sure to leverage yourself. Why leave any money on the table? Stop listening to people that say don’t invest more than you can afford to lose. They are jealous of your inspired investing.
Keep your passwords as simple as possible, this way you will be able to remember them. Reuse them as much as you can on as many sites as possible so that you can cut down your time trying to remember them. I like to write them down on post-it notes and tape them to my desktop, so they are always close at hand. Me and my friends just all use the same password so if we forget, we just call each other.
Make sure to tell people how you know a lot about crypto, that you got in early and that they are just wasting their time until they catch up to you. Tell them how you knew DOGE was going to take off and you almost bought some last year. Make sure to refer to them as noobs and tell them random facts about the next big crypto that they obviously haven’t heard of.
Don’t waste time doing any research. Everything is going to go up, so just pick crypto that you think sounds cool and get started right away. #CUMMIES to the moon.
All fees are the same, so just use whatever you want. Worrying about this will just bog you down in the details.
Don’t’ worry about taxes, there is no way the IRS can keep up with this. Washington is just a bunch of old dudes that have consistently shown that they are willing to stay out of things they don’t 100 percent understand.
Get started. You got this, no need to keep learning new things. You know all there is to know. If you have questions, post your keys in the comments and plenty of people can help you out.
Bonus Rule: Not your keys, not your problem.
(Sorry if you read this far, these were just for fun and you can’t get those three minutes of your life back. Seriously, ignore them all.)