Lead yourself...

Date: June 14,2022
Author: Sequoia

"Spirit leads me where my trust is without borders.

Let me walk upon the water, wherever you have called me.

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.

Where my faith will be made stronger, in the presence of my Savior. "

Currently listening to this song while writing this article, watching the big moon above my head as it illuminates the beauty of my surroundings.

Have you ever been in a situation where it feels like the test of life won't just ever leave you alone?

Beaten and crushed but it doesn't just stop there for there's still more? How did you deal with the days where you have no one else around but yourself and the shadow of your death?

What did you feel during those days? Moments where you just lost interest in almost everything. You care, but you actually don't feel anything inside?

I thought I am already done with my winter season, but guess my presumptions were all wrong. I am still here, stuck in the middle of my unknown emotions. Being drown with plethora of things without knowing where to run or hide.

This makes me think that I am just really a loser after all. An average person whom cannot excel for she's just a mere mediocre. Good at everything,, master of nothing. This sometimes leads me to the question that maybe I am not God's favorite kid.

But who am I to question the most High? I am just a dirt and He is the King. In fact, He was the one who reminded me my real worth. He taught me how to see myself the way He sees me.

Exceptional. Beautiful. Valued. Treasured Possession.

He shows me that with Him, everything can be fixed and renewed. He is able to make new things out of nothing.

Despite of all those things, I am still here, battling with my own self and thoughts. Trying to convince that everything will be fine and I'll eventually go back to the old me-with my passions inside my heart.

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Yes, it's tempting to just stop and give-up. But hey, where's the fun in there? Life is a continuous battle and survival. Regardless of the need to survive, life would be much better if we just don't focus on how to survive but to live as well.

There are days where our lights will go dim. But it'll be up to us if we choose to let it be gone forever or brighten it up.

As for me, I choose to ignite the spark. Fight for myself and face my fears. If we don't stand up for ourselves, then who will?

I know it's hard. But we'll get through this. You'll get through this.

All you gotta do is let go of the things you cannot control and leave it to God. Rest if you must.

And when you feel better...

Come back stronger!