I haven’t posted for a few days because of a PTSD attack. If you don’t know what is, great for you, because you would not want to know the suffering of this malady. As a former elite Soldier, I experienced things I would not wish upon my worst enemies (and I have only a few). It’s a deadly disorder and veterans like me are committing suicide at the rate of 20 per day plus.
There’s therapy for the disorder but I have found it to be useless. Well-meaning men and women speak up about their respective war stories to get it off their chest. But after a session, it seems to only make it worse for me because I begin to reflect on my experiences. Trust me, you should never want to kill anybody because the memory lives on and the experience strikes you when you least expect it. It sucks. It really sucks.
The symptoms vary, non of which are any good. Flashbacks of the experience, hallucinations, guilt about the experiences of seeing your brothers in arms dying, hyperactivity, fits of rage against the people you love, lack of sleep, and negative thoughts, are just some of the things one will experience.
Again, you would not wish this on anyone.
PTSD dissipates after a while but can linger for weeks. My recent episode lasted for 5 days, and while it is still ongoing, it is getting better. The one thing I despise about it is that you feel alone and don’t want to associate with friends. Many don’t understand. They haven’t been where you’ve been.
There is hope. You need a good support system. Unfortunately, many men and women refuse to seek help. Medication helps, Valium being the one I use. However, the most common treatment, and mind you, they are ill advised, are drugs. I don't use drugs, except for alcohol.
At any rate, alcohol consumption is the most widely used remedy for PTSD. It blunts the pain and memories, but only temporarily. Marijuana is another common use, as are hallucinogens. These mute the symptoms but do not cure. In fact, there is no cure.
I don’t want to delve into my experiences. Suffice it to say, they were not good. At times I have panic attacks. They strike unexpectedly. Fight or flight is the reaction. One minute you can be standing in the market and the next thing you know, panic hits. You may drop what you have bought and flee.
The worst case scenario is you may stray into traffic, not thinking about the consequences. My friend Harry did just that. One minute we were sitting around having a beer and eating some snacks, and then he said, “I’ll be back in a minute.” His minute turned into eternity. He stepped in front of a fast moving bus. His funeral is a lasting testament to the perils of PTSD.
I’ve said enough. Just writing about PTSD is stressful. Maybe I'll have a beer or 30.
If you have a family member who experiencing PTSD, do not lose hope. Watch out for him or her. Offer compassionate support. Be there. Practice true love.
Try your best to understand what the person is going through. Refrain from losing your temper, as it could have severe effects. If the person needs to isolate, give him or her room but keep a careful watch.
Remove harmful objects like guns, knives and drugs of any kind. Essentially, you become the physician in charge. In the event you cannot handle the situation, seek help from a friend. If it becomes too much of a problem, call you doctor or take the person to the emergency room.
Life is precious, PTSD is real. Understand it and save a life.
