I’m a perennial loner. I’m also a mild control freak with my projects. Whether it’s insecurity or obsessiveness or plain arrogance, I have trouble letting people influence whatever I’m working on or passionate about. It’s counterproductive. It single-handedly submarined my aspirations to be a professional musician once upon a time (an industry based almost entirely on networking) and I’ve surely missed quite a few opportunities over the years with my internet business because of my hesitance to reach out and connect with others who could help me.
Reasons Why You Fail
It’s said that 66% of people hired for a job know someone within the company that’s hiring them. But even in the non-professional world, isolation can undo you just as quickly. Instead of going broke, you just go depressed. Creating a wealth of social and romantic relationships hinges on the ability to meet people and connect with them in a meaningful manner. Research shows that living without regular social contact is as unhealthy as smoking cigarettes
YOU FAIL BECAUSE YOU’D RATHER ARGUE AGAINST ADVICE INSTEAD OF TAKING IT
Guaranteed express ticket to sucking: trying to be right instead of good. I don’t care what it is, if you’re more invested in arguing your point of view against people who are trying to help you than you are in improving yourself, then you’ve effectively given up. And for all of your brainiac debating, you’re still too stupid to see it.
To succeed at anything, there’s a feedback loop that must be in place: try something -> get feedback and results -> learn from feedback and results -> try something new. People who are dead set on arguing why what they already believed is right (despite not working) are effectively breaking the chain off and not accepting feedback. Therefore they will never change.
Not to say that everyone should always take advice from everybody, but you should accept feedback whether you believe it’s relevant or not, not try to argue your way into looking like you were right all along.
The people who suffer from this problem tend to be highly intelligent and extremely insecure. It’s a bad mix, because the more intelligent someone is, the more they’re able to rationalize their own bullshit excuses to themselves, and the more their intellect is used as a defense mechanism to protect their fragile ego.
Yes we fall