Jealousy walked me out of my marriage of 25 years . I am a very charming lady and that makes me proud,and so full of myself. My husband is a good Muslim man, he is so kind handsome and lovely. We got married very young. Our marriage is blessed with five kids two boys and three pretty girls. We live happily and comfortable with my husband until he brought the issues of adding a sister. I was devastated when he brought the issues after 25 years of being together. I couldn't withstand it especially when he told me she's very educated both Islamic and wastern education, she's working well and earning comfortably. I felt cheated because he refused me to proceed my education when I intended to study further.
He begged me to be a house wife, I mean full house wife which I agreed because I love my husband so much and I want to earn jannah through my marriage.
But in the case of adding a wife I felt so uncomfortable and pressure to the extent I begged him to divorce me so that I would get a rest. I could remember he was so sad and pleaded for me not to leave, but my heart was made up already I even threatened to sue him If he refused to divorce me.
My friends all supported me to leave which I foolishly left my matrimonial home of 25 years.
I moved and relocated to another state, settled and started a small scale business just to keep myself busy.
My husband on the other hand settled with his new wife and she became the mother of my children, Fahad is my first born and he's almost done with his studies in the university, Maryam, my second daughter is in same university with her brother Fahad. The rest are all in secondary school when I left my home.
Two months after I left my home, I felt serious empty and lonely, all my friends that advised me to leave still continued with their marriage and they stopped calling or asking about me.
I hardly got new friends so I decided to join Madrasah to keep myself busy. My kids visit me time to time and they always told me how good aunty Jamila (name of their father's new wife) is to them.
She bought new wears for them always and take them out every weekend.
My husband and my first son still insisted I should come back but I refused.
Years later, I felt so much lonely, I wish my parents were alive I wish I had siblings but I'm all alone.
My little business kept falling, so I decided to marry my mu'alim in madrasah. He already had three wives, then I became the fourth. But I felt appreciated since I was no longer lonely again. I only pleaded for him to rent a new house for me which he agreed at first but after a year of marriage he changed totally and told me he couldn't afford paying rent for me rather I should join his three wives or I live.
Without option, I decided to join his wives. He had more than 20 children, the house was so full, living with his co-wives was never easy, and in my own case they ganged against me, made jest of me and mocked me almost everyday. The house became a living hell for me. I cried out to my Lord because I knew I was punished for leaving my first husband and children behind out of jealousy .
I observed tahajjud every night, cried and sought repentance.
One beautiful Friday my first son Fahad came with good news that his father wife decided to resign her work and face her marriage completely, so she pleaded for my son to be employed in the company which they did out of respect for her dedication towards the company. Fahad promised to buy a house for me so that I could live comfortably. Six months after he started work, he bought a new house for me and set up a good business for me.
My life changed and I got much respect from my co-wives and even my husband.
I respected sister Jamila because she is so kind I wished I didn't leave my marriage. She got two of my daughters married to good Muslim young men. She's so strong, kind and God fearing. I'm actually sharing this because of a post I read about a lady that wanted to leave her marriage cos her husband wanted to add a wife.
Please sisters we should rely on our Lord and accept qadar either good or bad. Marriage is all about patience and sacrifice. Some second wives might be blessings in disguise for the family.
