Feels hungry. Intense hunger. This hunger is sometimes satisfied with bread or ten rupees cake, sometimes with biscuits. But the biggest hunger is the dream of making a movie.

Even when a rat is running around in the stomach in the heat of hunger, the movie gurgles inside the head, the movie chirps like a caterpillar. That's why I eat movies out of hunger for movies. When the newlyweds see the arrogant happy moon in the sky at night, my pen goes to the milk-white paper, the story of the movie, mixed with the moon and the electric light.

What a story! The hand comes to a standstill in fatigue, yet the star of the sequence tells me softly, darling, a little more ... a little more .... Sleep falls on the eyes and in the story of the movie, the couple rides on a pair of rafts tied to a green vine and travels to the dream hut. When I fell asleep, my eyes floated on the raft in a state of darkness. In the narrow alley, you hear the noise of colorful rickshaws or people.

Never again working together like me on an assistant director’s phone-call. There is never a joe to comb dry hair. For the sake of this big random movie. If you keep your hair big, you will feel like a filmmaker. He got on the rickshaw and rolled up the sleeves of his wrinkled dirty shirt at the bus stand. Although the pocket of the pants is very big in length, a few notes are lying on the bottom. That's why you have to be able to patrol with the rickshaw puller uncle with a guaranteed fare. One or two lies to be told, hey, you teach me! I give this money every day.

The rickshaw got into trouble and got on the bus. Hanging air and dust to eat the journey. At the end of the journey, he went to the shooting set and showed up to the director. The boss came and explained today's plan. What's the plan? The condition of the shoot is twelve while flattering the hero and heroine. And the condition of the story of the movie is to play twelve. That's the same story. Hero, heroine, villain, rich girl's father and police. The story is like a dialogue, as if a few crows met and wrote the dialogues.

However, you have to work with such movies because of your stomach, because of the work. After thinking many times, I decided that I am no longer with these works. However, the cost of my younger brother's education in the village, the cost of my mother's family, my own living and eating are returning me to the movies that keep me thinking. While watching these movies, when I see my name in the place of assistant director, I feel very ashamed. The head goes down.

Ever since I started loving movies, I have been fond of seeing my name in the place of director. Now maybe I will see my name in the place of Assistant Director. But I do not get any pleasure. I have so many movie stories. Basket full of concepts. The stories written in the diary. Also the story of the broken screen phone word file. No one cares a little about the stories. I don't expect anyone to go to anyone to get the stories fulfilled.

But most paid producers give hope. After listening to the story, he turned his eyes to the script through the thick-framed spectacles and said in a slightly melodious tone with a literary understanding, the story is good. But I make commercials.

No one invests for fear of losing. No one has the head to understand such a script again. I also request the directors I have worked with. I wouldn’t take credit for a script if I needed to work on a story. My story is a little full. No, you have to come back again and again.

I have had to return not only the story but also the money many times. This is the day when I was stepping from a tree in the hands of my lover at the end of the rain and the last light of the day was shining on the wet Pichdala road. Several visitors. He is sipping tea and staring at the last scene. Someone is lighting a cigarette, but there is no fuss. Eyes on the drama on TV. Drama written by me. I was also the assistant director in the play.

But come back to that amount of money. I haven't got the honor of story and screenplay yet. But the audience is satisfied at the end of the play. And the story, screenplay and his name as an assistant director filled my mind. There was joy in the mind like the sun peeking through the clouds. But after a while depression again. Depression is one after the other. Someone said to think along this line, you have to burn a lot of fire, the body has to be made of wood or iron.

But then did not believe. Belief begins to flow when the road is in leaky pockets. The pain of not being able to send money properly at the end of the month. Movies are not good at home, but I love her too. I can do anything else, but I can't do anything. Even though I was studying, my mind was not so much in it, my mind was in cinema. I can only do this one thing. I love it. Depression is so sad.

But the sadness of this moment is that if I got the honor of the story of the play and the screenplay, I could pay the rent. What else to do, listen to the landlord's whining. My depression sometimes catches some joy. A self-made movie won a prize at a foreign festival. I also got some money. I bought a projector to watch a movie without thinking. I sent the rest of the money to my mother. Once or twice a year, I get pleasure from a few short films I made myself. These increase the interest in more work. Shows deep dreams of making movies.

So the pen continues to spread the story on white paper. Many movie stories have been written. I still work behind the producers, running to complete the stories. I don't know myself now while running. I don't even remember when I saw my face in the mirror. Like the story of a movie, my life takes a turn for the worse, which in the language of cinema is called climax.

There is no communication at home due to work pressure for a few days. Suddenly one day a call came on the phone with a broken screen. ‘Mother’ written in contact number. But over the phone, I heard my younger brother's calm voice. I know my mother is very ill. The younger brother was taken to the hospital with great difficulty. Good treatment is needed now. I need money. Meanwhile a little money in my leaky pocket. Nothing will happen with this money. Still I sent the money. The thought of money sat on my head. A shooting after two days on schedule, some money will be available from there. But it will cost more. How to raise the rest of the money!

An hour later a phone call came. No bad news either! I went to the phone with courage. Written 'Abidur Rahman'. A few days ago, Aslam told him to produce the story. He said he would decide later. He called now. What does it mean to agree! If you agree, the dream will be fulfilled and the money for treatment will also be paid. Or not like other producers every time!

I doubt if I will ever be able to express what is going on inside me in the sequence of the script. I picked up the phone in preparation for both hope and despair. It came from the other side to receive ....