"People come and go, I know it's kinda familiar to you and you may be tired of hearing it, but it's one of my realizations in life we're having. It's just a matter of time for us to accept His plans for us." I wiped my daughter's tears as I continued what I'm saying.
"Maybe this is the right time to tell you this. About your father. We met in the university same as yours. Yes, we graduated from the same university. My friend and your dad's friend are on the stage of courting that time. My friend, your Aunt Ali, developed feelings for your dad's friend, probably your Uncle Eric. They became lovers. They were inseperable, so me and your father happened to be left behind by them. We became close to each other. We became best friends. It took me so much time to realize that I fell in love with him. I hid my feelings for him in order to protect the friendship that we had." I took a pause as I recall what happened in the past that I treasure. Years have passed but it felt like it was yesterday when a big turn in my life happened.
"It was in our our high school graduation day, I was shocked when your father confessed to me and court me. I said yes. There's no need to prolong the courtship since the feeling's mutual right? He introduced me to his parents so do I. Some people told us that our relationship is almost perfect. There are times that we fought, but we always resolve it before the day ends."
" It's just on our last year in college. I became busy with my studies so is he. Though, we're still updated with each other, I noticed that there's something wrong. Something has changed."
"I able to make some time so I prepared your father a snack. I go to his department to surprised him, but-" I shift my gaze on the floor, staring at it blankly.
"But I'm even more surprised to see him making out with some other girl on one of the vacant classrooms in their building. I heard his groans, her moans. I just watched them. Not feeling anything. Thinking maybe I wasn't enough. I didn't see anything. I pretended. It hurts. A lot. But I endured it because I love him. 'Cause I don't want to let him go."
Since then, I tried to become a better person. For him. I always check if he's okay, cook his lunch, remind him how we fell with each other, how we started. I didn't know if it's just me or I just can't cite the sparkle in his eyes when he's with me anymore, the laughter, the treatment, all the things became normal including how he treats me. His treatments made me feel that we're still on high school years where we barely know each other."
"One day, he came to my condo, drunk. Something must happened, I thought. And that's how we made it. The next morning, I was shocked when he said "Let's break-up". I didn't agree 'cause I don't want to."
"I gave him time to think about it again. A month has passed and no news about him. While walking on the parking lot of the company I'm working at, I suddenly felt dizzy. I lost conciousness. The doctor who took care of said that I was weeks pregnant. That was the happiest day of my life. I called your father right away hearing the good news. He didn't answered. A year had passed, but I still got no news about him"
"One day my officemate invited me to a wedding ceremony. I asked my mom to take care of you for a while as I will attend that ceremony not knowing that was your father's and that 'some other girl he's making out with back in college'. A part of me died that day. I found out from my officemate that they're college lovers. My mind was like, "what? How could that happen? It's me. I know it's me." I cried so much that day. It hurts so much. It hurts so much to witness him happy. It hurts so much to realize that he really like, no scratch that, that he really love that person for him to present 'that girl in front of our God. It hurts. A lot. Until now. I didn't reach him for closure. 'Cause I don't want to disturb him. I can see he's happy. I can see he's comfortable. I can see he's in love. It hurts. A lot. Until now."
"So, Elle, my dear daughter, my advice for you is to seek for closure. For you to let go the things you're holding easily. To move on. I don't want you to suffer the same faith as mine."