Crypto Scrooged: Tree Lots Don't Accept Bitcoin

The day started off with me finally throwing out the Thanksgiving leftovers. Now that we're out of the woods from contracting salmonella, listeria, or E. coli from the week and a half old turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes, it's naturally time to look to the next upcoming holiday -- our beloved Christmas. I was recently speaking to someone about Bitcoin, and they were confused as to why anyone would want it. His position was basically "you can't spend it anywhere, so what's the point?"

True, cryptocurrencies aren't exactly mainstream when it comes to practical use. In my region of the United States, I have yet to find a physical location that accepts any crypto as a form of payment. Shopping online is obviously a different story. I'm talking about actual physical locations. I wanted to prove my friend wrong. I wanted to buy a Christmas tree with Bitcoin. I knew the chances were slim, but I wanted to be right. So, today I went to a few tree lots in my area to see if they would accept Bitcoin.

The first one I visited was a local farm selling trees. I asked the guy working there if they accepted Bitcoin, and he just laughed and said "no." Not really surprising, as I didn't expect that they would. The second lot I inquired at was a local plant nursery. When I posed the question, the employee said "isn't Bitcoin bankrupt?" -- perhaps referring to FTX. I explained to them that the Bitcoin network is doing just fine but yes some exchanges have recently declared bankruptcy. At this point, this guy really didn't want to hear too much of the intricacies of cryptocurrencies and had to go tie down a tree to the roof of a car.

Bear in mind that I didn't really think any of these place would actually accept Bitcoin. But I had to be sure. So finally, I went to Whole Foods because I heard they had nice trees for a decent price. The lots were looking for $80-120 per tree, depending on the type and size. So I was quite pleased to see what the grocer had to offer:

Great! So, at this point, I have strayed from my little experiment about paying for a Christmas tree with Bitcoin. Though technically, had I purchased a gift card via eGifter or Bitrefill, I suppose I could have paid for the tree with satoshis. But that's really more of an indirect method. It is worth noting that in 2019, Whole Foods started accepting cryptocurrencies as payment if you use the Spedn app.

So let's get that tree home now.

Though the bundled tree slid nicely into the vehicle through the trunk, it littered the back seat with stray needles. But at least there was no hassle of securing it to the roof and having the anxiety of it possibly falling off on the way home.

The tree has now made it home. Let's get it unbundled and ready to put into the stand. What's Christmas after all, without struggling to get that tree upright in the stand just right? It's always leaning a little much to one side, no matter how hard you try. I'm getting Coke'd up, using gloves so my hands don't get all sappy, and a 12 year old dull and rusted out saw that I pretty much only use to trim the stumps of Christmas trees. Everybody has one of those, I'm quite sure.

It's good to go, now I have to get it inside. It's actually not too much of a struggle getting it setup straight in the stand this year, a very pleasant surprise. After spending about an hour changing light bulbs between three different strands to get one that's fully working, the tree is trimmed and looking halfway decent.

So, unfortunately, I was unable to pay for a tree with Bitcoin this year. So be it; it is what it is. I did, however, find a Reddit post from 2019 in which the author states that his small Christmas tree business accepted their first BTC payment. How much did they collect?

It's not mentioned what day the transaction took place but in December 2019 the price of Bitcoin was about $7500, so 200k sats was worth about $150 at the time. Here's what that tree sold back in 2019 is worth today:

Not too shabby. In the end, while I was unable to find a lot that accepts BTC, there indeed has been at least one. Deck the halls!