Babu and Arif have been friends since childhood. They went to school together, played on the same cricket team and had no privacy among themselves - except for one, which has recently emerged. One day while they were eating phukka somewhere in Dhaka city, Arif suddenly became embarrassingly silent for a few moments.
- "Babu, listen, I had something to say to you."
- "What's the matter, man?"
- "I wasn't completely honest with you, Ray. Remember when I told you I really liked that girl?" That is not true. In fact, I like his brother. I'm gay. "
Babu was stunned by this unexpected confession and did not understand what to say. Instead he got up and walked away. Every time Arif called him in the following days, there was no response. Finally after six months Arif got a response from Babu. After many long conversations in the evenings, they became close friends again. Babu realized that despite Arif being a homosexual, the sweet memories of their childhood and the good times they spent together did not lie. Babu learned to accept his close friend Arif as he was - that is, Arif happened to be gay.
Gay men and women, bisexual (Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual or LGB) people are our brothers, sisters, friends, neighbors, our teachers and our peers. Homosexuality and bisexuality have always been and are part of every society and every culture in human history. It also exists in a wide range of animals. Various surveys around the world have shown that 1 in 10 people are attracted to homosexuals sexually or romantically. At a minimum, there are at least 1.5 million homosexuals in Bangladesh. Despite having a sufficient number (which is almost equal to the entire population of Qatar), LGB is still considered an invisible minority.
Discrimination against LGBs in schools, universities and the workplace deprives them of health care and justice. Often tormented by panic, suspicion and guilt, they rarely get help from family members and friends. Article 37 of the Bangladesh Penal Code states that homosexual intercourse is a punishable offense punishable by life imprisonment. As a result, very few people talk openly about their sexual orientation. Moreover, many are forced to live a life of lies and secrecy, trapped in the trappings of compulsive orthodoxy, misguided ideas and ridicule of justice and morality. Heterosexual marriage is still considered the salvation of women's lives, and tolerance towards lesbian women is particularly low. They are doubly crushed.
In 2002, the Bandhu Social Welfare Society (BSWS), the largest organization of gay men in Bangladesh (Men sex who have sex with men or MSM), conducted a survey of 124 self-identified female lesbians and bisexual men, arguably the most significant of the local LGB groups. Part. One in two interviewees said they had been harassed at school or college. Three out of every four people tell their relatives about their sexual orientation. They said they had received very negative feedback from their families; Such as beatings, forced marriages, deprivation of property, evictions or taking them to a doctor for treatment of homosexuality. Many have been harassed by law enforcement, local bullies, friends or family members. Of the 60 people surveyed, 29 reported to BSWS that they had been harassed by law enforcement officers or had been sexually harassed by police officers, including rape. Others reported beatings, extortion, obstruction of movement, threats and blackmail. Homosexuals in Mymensingh, Dhaka and Sylhet reported that they were taken to a police barracks or police station and gang-raped. Such forced sex is very unsafe which often leads to serious bodily injuries; Such as rupture of anus, internal bleeding, etc. A 2003 report by Human Rights Watch (HRW) stated that such incidents occur occasionally, and that this reflects the nature of violence against LGB groups in Bangladesh.
Due to the intense local panic and hatred towards homosexuals in Bangladesh, the mental health and well-being of LGBT people have also been negatively affected. A recent study of 102 gay men conducted by Dhaka University Professor Muhammad Kamruzzaman Majumder found that 32 percent of them had suicidal tendencies and 47 percent had attempted suicide at least once.
During my visit to Dhaka in December 2011, I met Mamun and Sakhawat (not real names), a 23-year-old student and a 26-year-old journalist, respectively. Both are gay.
According to Mamun, accepting himself as a homosexual was "the hardest thing in his life." When he first felt the physical attraction of other boys at the age of 13, he thought there must be something wrong with him and he kept looking for a way to change it. She thought that by getting married she would keep her sexual orientation secret for the rest of her life. He then began researching homosexuality on the Internet and discovered that it was considered acceptable and normal in other parts of the world. He had to wait another six years to admit that he was gay. Lately, he thinks of leaving Bangladesh every day. Because, in this country, he is not optimistic about the change in attitude towards LGB in his lifetime. “I love my country and my family but I want to live a normal and independent life. I don't want to spend my whole life with lies. I can't live a heterosexual life if I'm here. It's better to spend your whole life alone than to ruin a girl's life. " Although she considers her parents to be relatively generous, her fears may come when she will have to choose between her parents or a truly dignified life.
Ever since she became acquainted with Sakhawat, she has been attracted to other men. Having lived apart from his family since childhood, he got shelter from homosexuals living in Dhaka. He is a member of Boys of Bangladesh or BoB, a platform for gay men. Here she can learn a lot about the psychology and politics of sexual orientation. Sakhawat has been in a deep love affair with a man for four years. He wants to work to create awareness about LGB from Bangladesh.
After returning to the United States, I met Farhina (not her real name), a 23-year-old BBA student, through an online forum in Bangladesh. She likes girls from an early age and can recognize herself as a lesbian. Fearing that her parents would deny her, she did not let them know anything about it and kept her newly formed relationship with another woman a secret. She found no platform to support her exceptional sexual orientation like Sakhawat. Farhina told me that women are more pressured to marry at a young age than men. In her words, “If I am forced to marry a boy, I may commit suicide. It's better to die than to be what I am not. " In order to establish himself as he is, he is thinking of leaving the country soon after graduation.
The Internet is a valuable source of advice and support for all of them and this source is playing a significant role in their acceptance. It is best to use the internet, especially for LGB youth, to get as much quality information as possible. Unfortunately, internet access in Bangladesh is limited to the affluent, so very few can use the internet.
It is sometimes mistaken to think that sexual orientation is "a choice" or "a disease" - neither of which is correct. It is a normal aspect of human sexuality. Homosexuality is a healthy form of natural and human bondage, just like the relationship between men and women. A person's sexual orientation is a part of that person and everyone deserves respect for what they are. LGBs do not claim special rights but seek recognition of their human rights. Cultural or religious ideas do not favor homosexuality and establish racism. Cruelty and harassment of LGBs, denial or accusation of giving them equal opportunities and respect, etc. are neither moral nor civilized, but are immoral.
Sex among homosexual adults is an innate personal matter and should not be regulated by the government of a society that values tolerance and respect. Yet section 37 of the law is doing just that. Article 37 contradicts the fundamental principles of dignity and equality and violates international human rights law. It accelerates social degradation, encourages other inequalities, degrades public health initiatives যার which are based on nothing but superstition. A report released by the Ministry of Law, Justice and Parliamentary Affairs of Bangladesh states that Article 37 "violates the constitutionally protected right to privacy under the broad definition of the right to life and personal liberty". Supreme Court lawyer Sara Hussein further sees Article 37 as in conflict with the anti-discrimination clause and the Equal Rights Act guaranteed by the Constitution of Bangladesh.
Although Article 36 is almost never used, it is like a sword of the Damocles for the LGB group, and caution must be exercised before allowing it to be used by orthodox and intolerant people as a tool of repression against unpopular minorities. The repeal of Article 37 is an integral step for the development of Bangladesh as an independent and democratic nation. Repealing or repealing this would make it possible for LGBs, who are victims of rape, to sue the perpetrators without the risk of being prosecuted and to take away the weapons of the police by which they are being humiliated, abused and blackmailed. Although Sakhawat is not afraid to be accused, he is a criminal in the eyes of the state. As a supporter of LGB rights, he believes that repealing Article 37 "would make it easier for the LGB group to be exposed."
Farhina, Mamun, Sakhawat and other LGB people deserve our attention and support. On the other hand, the LGB group must be able to form some part of the leadership in the fight against orthodoxy and injustice. It is the moral duty of all of us to take part in this movement and to fight for tolerance and dignity in the name of equal dignity as human beings.