I'm spying on my neighbours watching the world pass me by,
Vigilant for my welfare aware of what you may one day try,
I feel safer from my confines than out to confront you direct,
Would sooner write to the council to help serve and protect.
I've reported some noise violations whenever a party rages on,
Rung about kids out during school hours- yes it had to be done,
Complained to police re pet owners and their responsibilities,
Voted at meetings about failures in neighbourhood watch activities.
I peer from behind my venetian blinds a very good vantage point,
Have a cup of tea and get lost in the hours with my ballpoint
Recording in ledgers transgressions and bad misdemeanors,
I enjoy the intrigue and sense of duty noting all the seen flaws.
The crime rate is up three per cent but our street's down by five,
A fact I pride myself on for it's my contribution helping us thrive,
I know council numbers for every department or help line,
I doubt they'd get on quite as well without that help of mine.
I do my best work at night between the hours of 9 and 1am,
It's a struggle for me to stay awake but I'm needed most then,
For that's when thugs and hooligans are getting up to no good,
Make sketches and notes of anyone suspicious for wearing a hood.
I don't get invited to meet ups or have my neighbours around,
I'm always left out from functions but I keep my ear to the ground,
Kept in the know as I Google all the latest drugs and addictions,
It's best to be aware and alert so I can improve upon my detections.
Yes you too have appeared in my books many times I fear,
To my eyes you're a criminal just yet to emerge as you'd appear,
Shifty comings and goings at all hours of the day and night,
Yes indeed there's something different about you not quite right.
You're part of my surveillance and I've a rap sheet for when you fail,
A potential list of minor infringements that'll inevitably lead to jail,
I've seen your sort before and though you look all squeaky clean,
I reckon behind that "butter wouldn't melt" exterior you're mean.
So I will keep here at my post not being part of your world,
Whilst time passes me by and my hair grows grey and curled,
Better to be distanced from the thugs and the menace of life,
Married to my observations avoiding any challenges or strife.
I've worn the same clothes a week now but nobody will see,
I haven't showered in days don't tell the social services on me,
I'm hidden in the shadows and try not to go out unless I must,
Won't socialise with people, if it's not about crime I'm not fussed.
Sad