The person we all find the hardest to love is ourselves. It takes lots of time, efforts, failures, acceptance, and patience. When I was younger, I used to think that my monsters are meant to be chased out but I learned that it doesn't always have to be like that. Rather than chasing them out of me, I learned to tame them. I'm taming them one by one, little by little. In moderation of releasing my monsters to be part of me, I'm removing my toxic traits and I'm becoming more of myself.
Our monsters are just us who needs development, love, and care. Be your own lighthouse and guide yourself to the person you wanted to be.
I know it's hard. I know the feeling when you just can't help it. I know you're so tired. You can be like that for a while, your mental health need that. You can just lay in bed, be lazy, sad, and tired. You can do that. Put yourself first. It's a hard fight to battle with yourself everyday and night.
However, please eat, drink water, try to sleep or at least take naps. I know it's hard but we all know what is needed. Your monsters can be so overwhelming, it'll make you stronger. Take your time, fail, that's okay. I know there are circumstances where you have tight time, it's all in you on how you'll handle that.
I'm also struggling right now. I'm overthinking, suffering from anxiety, my health is declining. However, here are some things that are helping we to keep going on.
Music- I listen to good music that I relate, some comfort me, heal me, sad with me, and songs that reminds me my worth and makes me feel powerful. If you love music I suggest you invest your time listening.
Sleep- I know you can't just sleep. Try to not use your phone and just be in your bed even if you can't sleep. Close your eyes and maintain proper breathing.
Watch movies/shows- in my case I love One Piece. It helped me a lot to lessen my overthinking. Choose those that makes you happy. Don't settle in scrolling, that just made me more tired and lazy so I think some of you may have the same effect.
Try to do your hobbies- try crochet, painting, song writing, etc. but you don't have to force yourself here. When I'm in the first stages of my tiredness, I don't wanna do anything. I constantly lay down in bed doing nothing but still it didn't feel a rest, I'm still tired. When you feel the same right now, you need to feed your mind and soul.
I used to think that I can't help it, I'm so weak, I'm not being better... nothing happened, it just made me more tired. I started to feed my mind with music and those things I deserve and those that I have and want to protect...slowly I'm recovering, I don't wanna lose my present over things from the past. I don't wanna lose myself, and the future self I'm dreaming to be. Let's not lose our vision.
We constantly battle to our own monsters for lifetime, fight in your own way then tame them and make them you allies. On the process you are building yourself.
-from a lazy, sad, and tired potato ("I'm just resting for now before going to my own battlefields again hehe. You can do the same. It's better to fight with determination of conquering them all, at the same time it's also okay to fight with tears. Both are brave things.)
Listening to music from the best relaxation therapies, it really works ... Good post, you write very well.