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Lack of Consistency; Invalidated Feelings

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Written by   29
7 months ago

We all started in a small things. Simple gestures, simple words that takes few seconds to say but can made your whole day. However, being consistent seems to be a difficult thing to others and leave the person who's already used with those actions and words gave to them before miserable.

Imagine living and believing with actions and words the entire time, you got attached to those and suddenly it stopped.

" Small things matter. Giving few minutes to hear my thoughts and stories, the way you used to be so excited on what's happening in my life, the way you don't want to let me go when you hug me and won't leave me alone, the time when you will choose to spend the whole day with me without using your phone a lot, the way you hold my hand to assist me, those time you wanted an update if I already ate, those times when you're giving me love letters and cards, when you're willing to do what you can to fix the problem with me and not just let the mood be light again like nothing happened ..."

Every little thing that I got used vanished as time goes by. I can still say that love is there but the consistency of lots of the things I used to get is gone.

I wonder if am I not worth of those things anymore, I wonder if I don't matter that much so my feelings can be left without even caring for it.

Overthinking sucks but I can't help it when things go this way.

Here are some of the actions and words I wish I can get from the same person:

  1. Be observant and sensitive enough- sometimes or most of the time I'm just keeping it to myself because I kept being ignored or I've been treated less when something's wrong.

  2. Be grateful if the problem is being told to you- some won't even say and will let you guess but you? you already know what's wrong and still choosing to shrug is... haha

  3. Do what you can and don't bee too contented that your partner won't leave you- I promise that no matter how much that person loves you if that person is kept being treated less then he/she will be empty someday and will walk away because every day you invalidate their feelings, they are being drained again and again.

  4. Keep your words and reflect it with your actions- don't promise something you can't keep, don't say anything you won't even do consistently. Because we will keep on believing you because we wanted you to understand and love us so much and not being consistent and kept us experiencing the same pain hurts more and more than ever. It builds up and draining the hell out of us.

  5. Think how much you love that person to stay in the rest of your life- If you wanted to have that person so much then treat that person right and stop being stupid thinking that they love you so they won't left you even if you treat then unfairly.

  6. Keep your love, respect and care in every emotion you have- you can't just lose any of these because of an argument unless at worst situations. But an argument that you know that both of you can fix with proper communication? These love, respect and care shall remain.

Why is it so hard to love that one person the same way you did at the start? I can understand if it'll change by "love that person more" but treating that person less? It scares me so much how easy you can do that because it honestly make us feel less to you...sighs

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Written by   29
7 months ago
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Comments

Really thank you for this

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7 months ago

I do hope and pray that even without those consistency we will continue to love each other. Consistency is the main problem for every relation and it is inevitable that one would sometimes full out from that consistency. Maybe because the only constant is change and that we must just accept that inconsistency is part of growing up between relationship. Inconsistent can be solve through communication and if one could change the inconsistency maybe not to the consistent part again but to better actions that would make them stronger and grow. Let's just learned to accept that no one is perfect, and so as consistency.

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7 months ago

That's a wonderful mindset to have. You made me learn something I need Thank you

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7 months ago

Happy to know that you learned something from me. Just continue to be open-minded and weigh things.

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6 months ago