You can't purely love the person the way you wanted to be love. Both of you might have different love languages so if you'll continue to love the way you wanted to receive one then it can be frustrating specially when you expect the other to feel love the most but in reality you're still lacking.
If you wanted to be loved by showering you with gifts but your other half wants words of affirmation then you'll really have shortcomings if you'll focus on showering the other with gifts.
All it takes is observing and listening. Learn what's her/his love language then you can combine it with your love language. With this, you'll love investing yourself and not just love to receive.
Here are some of kinds of love language:
Words of Affirmation - words mean a lot to them. They are the type who needs constant assurance and security. They wanted to listen and they'll also do the same for you. Appreciation means a lot to them. Encourage, affirm and empathize them.
It hurts them when you can't appreciate their efforts, no matter how many years or forever it takes, you need to be consistent. Non-constructive criticism is a no to them. You can criticize them but not in way that you're not minding that you love them. Some people forget the love and how special that person is when they're mad. At least if things can be fixed, be gentle while arguing with them.
They'll love it even if you give simple efforts like leaving notes or cards for them. Love letters is the best way to sooth them.
Physical Touch -Regular physical affection is what they love. Hugs, kisses, holding hands, being close with you. They feel more love when you express it in this way. The way you miss them, the way you need them, how much you love them.
Being cold to them and ignoring them should be avoided.
Receiving Gifts- They'll feel that you're thinking of them and you care. Communicate with them as your priority.
You don't need to be extravagant, simple gifts and gestures are enough. Gifts aren't always material things anyway.
You should avoid unenthusiastic response when you receive and give gifts, this feel like you don't really mean it. You can't also forget special occasions.
Quality Time- Alone time with you is needed, you shouldn't use your phone for so long that you'll leave your partner unattended specially when you're not always meeting each other. They also love a one on one conversation with you about your relationship, it can be about your dreams, what is needed to be fixed and everything that needs to be communicated.
Create a special moment with him/her, plan a date, take a walk, eat. It wouldn't be too much to give an effort for a partner in life who will do the same and will invest his/her whole self to you.
Avoid unnecessary distractions while you're together. Pay attention.
Acts of Service- help them, support them. Don't let him/her help you then you won't do the same when they need you. Be there for them, be their companion in life. When you're together at house then share the tasks. You should also observe when your help is needed because helping without asking for it shows how much you sensitive you are and cherish them.
This can also refer to emotional issues, you shouldn't leave your partner to solve the issue by himself/herself, it should be the both of you. Help her/him to improve and fix your relationship. Don't be too contented that they'll not leave you just because they love you.
One person can have multiple love language so observing your partner is the key. This wouldn't be hard if you really care. All that matters is consistency and willingness.
True and i would agree more. My bf has his own language of love than mine. Sometimes we will have misunderstanding becuase of different love language . I guess i should understand his and his way of loving me. Thank you for the good article.