Family is the basic building block of a society and is a unit of parents and children. It acts as the foundation on which values are built. Parents and family form the child's first relationship. They are the children's first teachers from whom moral values like righteousness, good character, kindness, forgiveness, justice etc are instilled in children's thoughts, feelings and actions. Parents function as ideals and standards that govern the actions in their life. The value system practised in the family is automatically transferred to the young family members. A child's attitude towards the people and society is shaped by the family. Blissful and cheerful atmosphere in the family will instill love. affection, tolerance and generosity in the heart of a child.
Although a child learns the teachings of right and wrong from the family but the changing realities of current time, such as, absence, emotional distance, preoccupation of parents develop thirst for parents' association in the mind of the children. These also strike the very heart of those values, such as, trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring for others, etc. Parents often have no idea of how children spend their free time, where they hang out, who their friends are or what they do in the internet. Parents and elder family members often try to compensate their absence from the children by saying 'Yes' to their demands. resulting in spoiling them.
Good manners are not taught through formal teaching rather are acquired more by observation. Hence the parents are to be cautious in their conduct and actions. Children keep a keen eye on whatever their parents talk or do and try to copy them. The parents should teach moral values to the children by their demonstrated behaviour. A child is taught to know the do's and don'ts of religion and should follow the teachings of the religion. A child is also taught to be well behaved, polite and respectful to the elders. S/he must learn to be truthful and avoid telling even harmless lies. S/he must acquire good etiquettes and should not waste any food or other stuffs. Children learn the qualities of give and take, sportsmanship, friendship, fellow-feelings through games and sports. They must be benevolent and kind towards both elders and youngers. Her/his individuality & feelings are to be respected and s/he is not to be laughed at in front of friends or outsiders. S/he is taught to be caring and loving to siblings and not to become jealous to younger brothers and sisters.
Families are the places where the members follow any religion and moral values are automatically imparted to their children. Suppose members of an Islamic minded family have the love and fear of Allah. These love and fear of Allah teach the children to be honest, sincere, patient, truthful etc. Religion also teaches the followers modesty, humility, tolerance, and respect for elders and fellow-mates. Islam teaches its followers to control the anger and to be kind, forgiving, self-reliant, self-disciplined and in possessions of all other virtues mentioned earlier. Hence a family should involve its children to perform the religious practices right from the early stage of life.
Having a positive frame of mind is extremely essential for the parents during child's initial years. This positive thinking is contagious and automatically passes down to the next generation. Positive thinking makes a child happy and comfortable with whatever s/he has or gets and makes her/him optimistic about the life The child learns that win and defeat are the only two possible outcomes of any event in life A win should make her/him happy, but in no way, proud and complacent. On the other hand, losses should be taken easily and motivate her/him to do better in future with better preparation without being broken.
A family should understand that the child is likely to make mistakes. Making mistake is also a process of learning. The parents should deal with the mistakes patiently and gracefully. Again the expectations of the parents and family from the child should be realistic and not beyond her/his limit. Parents should also bear in mind that all children are not same and the uptake and capacity vary. They should understand the child's limitations. Realistic expectations from the child will make her/him inquisitive and skilful in the formative years.
Family time is extremely important for a growing kid and efforts are to be taken to strengthen the family bonding. Close and distant family members are to be introduced to the child and explain how they are to be treated. This will make her/him understand the importance of the family and s/he will value people around him.
Rewarding a child for her/his good behaviour will certainly motivate her/him to display the best behaviour always. Intangible rewards like a hug a word of motivation are to be preferred to a materialistic one like chocolates, an expensive toy, and an hour of mobile games or watching TV.
The parents should set personal examples and become role model before their children. As parents, one needs to do things right before telling the child to follow. Parents should be polite, modest and respectful towards others and then only they can expect the same from the child. Parents should narrate patriotic, religious and ethical stories and discuss the lessons to be brought out of these stories. Parents should give quality time to the children, listen respectfully to their ideas and whenever required, to correct them which in turn boost their self-confidence. Parents should also watch news, movies, and TV programs along with the children. And in doing so, the parents will be able to interact with them, ask their views and guide them about practical alternatives. Parents, as well as, their kids are to be engaged in charity and some community services with a view to instilling generosity and generating a habit of serving. Parents should also comment on compassionate behaviour and motivate their child to be caring to others. Children should be encouraged to take some responsibilities, such as, cleaning the table. organizing the room, checking up a friend or siblings when they are sick. These will teach her/him the importance of those values.
Values developed by a family are the foundation on how children learn, grow and function in the world. These values and beliefs pave the way of life a child leads and changes her/him to be an individual in a society. Therefore, the family must take greater responsibilities for the proper upbringing of the children. It has to encourage and nurture them, help them establish positive approach to life and equip them with moral values so that they grow up as good human beings.
