I love to laugh at silly people when they do silly things. I believe I have a great sense of humor. Well, I was sitting on a wooden bench in a mall one day and once watched a woman texting on her smartphone as she neared a little fountain. People tossed coins in the pond and made their wishes. Others sat on the ledge and ate, sipped a coffee or talked.
Well, this beautiful young lady refused to look up and walked right into the water and fell in head first. Of course, I laughed. Looking back, I realize I should have captured it on video so I could have uploaded it and had a chance for it to go viral.
I like animals, too. I like going to zoos when I travel to different cities in the U.S. When I was a kid living in San Diego, my parents took us to the world-famous San Diego Zoo. My brother, cousin and me wandered off and got lost for like four hours.
We decided to just sit down and watch the huge monkey cage, figuring that eventually our families would stop by and we'd all be united.
Kids our age were tormenting a couple of chimpanzees by yelling and throwing food at them. We were about to shout something at them, when all of a sudden a chimp wiped his behind, and then tossed some poop right in their faces. "Poo poo!" they screamed, as they ran for the restrooms.
We had a teen in our town who rode his skateboard everywhere. It's like it is an attachment to his body, like a third arm or leg. Well, I live about 100 yards from the bottom of a steep hill that is about a 40 degree incline. During the winter when snow and ice cover the road it is very dangerous.
One day when I was at a gas station I saw the guy making a ramp at the bottom of the hill and off the side of the two-lane road.
"Whatcha doin"? I inquired.
"Oh, hey, dude," he began, brushing his long, blonde locks back off his forehead. "I'm going to the top of the hill, racing down, and jumping this ramp all the way to the bridge." He pointed and turned his head towards the river.
"Sounds treacherous," I admitted. "That has to be 20 feet at least."
"Nah, bro. Heck, I'm going pro when I turn 16. I'm in my final training phase, now."
"Cool, dude," I responded with a grin.
And then off he went, walking up the steep road, stopping half the way up to catch his breath. At the summit, he turned and waved at what was then six or seven people watching him. He hollered something, but the nearby river drowned out his voice.
"Yo, Razor, that brotha gonna die, yo." That was my cynical friend, Lamont, always doubting like Thomas in the Bible.
"He told me he was a pro," I assured Lamont.
Somebody behind us shouted, "Hey, I am going to video this in 4k HD!"
When we turned around towards the voice, there was a growing crowd of perhaps 20 people who also wanted to see the stunt, including the gas station attendant.
"I think I'll go ahead and call an ambulance now, just in case," Lamont admonished.
We looked up and saw the teen in the middle of the road, one foot on his skateboard, and both arms in the air with a symbol of a recent victory, in a V shape.
Then he pumped the pavement with his foot and began his descent.
The skateboard gathered speed rather quickly and I sensed disaster in the making. Would he be another recipient of the infamous Darwin Award? I couldn't peel my eyes from skater dude.
Now I'm not very good at guessing speeds, unless I am actually driving, but I figure he was coming down the hill at about 35 m.ph. or better. The skateboard wobbled often, but like a pro, he maintained control.
He whooshed past us all, hit the sturdy ramp dead center, and then the skateboard leaped into the air like E.T. and his best buds on a bicycle towards the moon.
The skateboard hit the dirt next to the pavement with a resounding thud, broke a wheel off, and sent the skater dude flying and then rolling, and then sliding on his skinny butt...
...right into the river!
"Dudes, I got it all on video!" our would-be Quentin Tarantino shouted.
We all ran to the river and saw skater dude swimming to the shore. Tarantino was filming again.
"You okay, dude?" I asked, somewhat concerned.
"I think...I think I broke my butt bone!"
We all howled with laughter, but deep down I felt sorry for the guy.
"Yo, you need an ambulance, homie?" Lamont asked.
"No! No ambulance, no filming!" he whined through gritted teeth.
Tarantino shouted: "This is going on You Tube!"
I saw skater dude about 6 weeks ago at the 7-11. He still had the skateboard, as usual, and was buying a Slurpee.
"Hey, I thought you were going pro," I remarked.
"Nah, bro, I've got better plans nowadays."
"Yeah? Like what?" I quizzed.
"Heard they were going to start filming the final Jackass movie and I plan on being in it."
I haven't see skater dude since. Maybe I'll see him in the movie. At 27 now, he's still young and vibrant, filled with wide-eyed, big dreams. And I hope his dream will come true.
And I hope he doesn't break his butt bone again. Silly guy.