True disciple

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3 years ago

On the way back to Calcutta Nivedita visited Lahore, Delhi, Agra, and Banaras. She had travelled a great deal in the last few months and had seen a large part of India. But during her travels all her time was not spent in seeing places. She was training herself for the life she was going to lead.

Her first lesson started by learning about India. The Swami had told her about the history of India, its great kings, warriors, saints, and builders. But did she yet understand and love India ? She was a proud English woman devoted to the English flag. She thought the English had done much good to India. She did not know that they had also done a great deal of harm. So when she heard about this from the Swami she could hardly believe him. On other subjects like literature, history, and social science too she had her own views. She could not understand the Swami's ideas. She argued with him and protested. Many a time she felt deep anguish and was in despair. There were days when she wanted to break away from the influence of the Master.

During this time she studied the Gita and learned to meditate, that is to fix her mind on holy and sacred objects in the desire to be pure and godly. Meditation brought her peace of mind. In the end she came to realize that her doubts were false. Then she told herself that she had too much pride. Pride had stood in her way. Therefore she made up her mind to cast off pride and become humble.

The Swami was aware of what was passing through her mind. One day he said to her : 'I am going away into the forest to be alone, and when I come back I shall bring peace. As he finished speaking he raised his hands and she knelt down before him. He put his hand on her head and blessed her.

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