Ten principles of being good friends according to ancient Roman philosophy

Nowadays TV commercials have taken the word friend to a completely different level, which has become a source of annoyance to many. On the other hand, with the help of online social media, it is possible to make a so-called friend to a complete stranger, the word friend has largely lost its traditional appeal.

But let's get rid of the influences of the surrounding influences, if we think about it in a very disinterested way, then we will get the proof that life is really impossible without friends.

As human beings, any happy news, or any sadness, everything we want to share with a special person. And in that case a friend is often our first choice. Because a friend is a person who knows, knows, understands and feels us.

The emotional closeness that we can gain in contact with a friend is not possible with anyone else. Especially with age, when there is some distance between our parents, siblings and blood relatives, our friends are still our last refuge.

It is said that he is a really lucky person who has a really good friend. But finding good friends is not a small matter. In particular, if we want to have good friends, we need to be good friends first. If we ourselves are not very good as friends of others, then tell us how good friends will be added to our destiny!

Now the question is, what is the way to be a good friend? The ancient Roman philosopher Marcus Tullius Cicero gave some great suggestions in this regard. His book "De Amicidia" (How to Be a Friend in English) is considered by many to be the best book of all time on friendship.

In 44 BC, Cicero, considered one of the best politicians and orators in the Roman Empire in his sixties, took up the pen to quell his frustration when he was banished from political power by Julius Caesar. In just a few months, he completed all the great essays on various subjects. One of them was friendship, where the details of his relationship with his best friend Atticus (Titus Pomponius) came up.

At that time, most Romans understood friendship to be a kind of practical relationship, which was formed for the sake of mutual benefit. In other words, interest was the main structure of friendship. Cicero did not deny the existence of such a friendship. However, he believed that it was possible to create friendships even above all worldly interests. In the light of his personal experience, in his little book, he wrote down a number of memorable principles for being good friends. Here are the top ten of them.

There can be different kinds of friendships: Cicero admits that there are many good people in our lives whom we consider friends. These include our business associates, neighbors, or any kind of acquaintances. But he separated those friendships from the ordinary ones with whom our souls had direct contact, and our mutual relations reached much deeper. Such friendships are very rare, because we have to spend a lot of time and effort on our own. Of course, such friends change our lives, just as we change their lives.

Only good people can be true friends: those with bad moral character also have friends, but their friendship depends only on usefulness. Because, for true friendship, we need faith, intelligence and basic humanity. The oppressors and the wicked may be friends and use each other, just as they use good people for their own benefit. But it is never possible for bad people to find true friendship in life.

We should be careful in choosing friends: it is said that friendship is not a word. Friendship is born by itself. But sometimes we have to be aware. We need to look closely at the potential friend before the friendship develops, we have to think about whether he can be made a friend or not. Because once you become friends with someone, and then you don't get along with them, then life can become very messy and confusing. So without rushing at the beginning, you have to be careful in making friends, you have to step up and watch.

The reward of friendship is friendship itself: Cicero believes that friendship offers some practical benefits - advice, companionship, support in difficult times - but at the end of the day, friendship is not a business where profit-loss, gain-loss is calculated. The greatest achievement of friendship is friendship itself.

Friendship is the gift of the Creator;

Friends make us superior people: none of us can be completely isolated. We need a partner. And in the midst of that partner we are now looking for a friend. Friends are a lot like a mirror. We can see ourselves through their eyes. They have their views on us.

Hold on. Appreciates our good aspects, identifies our bad aspects. In this way we can improve ourselves. But to be friendless means to lose one's self.

Even if you make new friends, you can't go without old ones: those friends know and understand us best, with whom we have known each other for the longest time. Especially those with whom we have spent time since childhood, there is no comparison to them as friends. New friends may have many things we don't know. But nothing is unknown to childhood friends. So it is relatively easy for them to understand us. So, even if you find a new good friend, it is inappropriate to sever the relationship with the old friend unnecessarily.

Friends are always honest with each other: Honesty is one of the main foundations of friendship. A true friend will always tell us what we need to hear. And they will not tell us anything that is actually false but we will be happy to hear. There are countless people around us who try to please us in various ways in order to satisfy their own interests. Only true friends can hide the truth from us knowing that we will be angry or hurt. Here an enemy is very similar to a real friend. So we can often mistakenly think of a real friend as an enemy. But all we have to do is not be angry at the words of the person we consider to be a friend, but listen and think what he wants to say in a cold head.

Honesty in friendship is the best way;

A friend never tells another friend to do something wrong: a friend can risk losing anything else for another friend, just out of respect. If a friend ever tells us to lie, cheat, or do anything shameful, we need to reconsider. Maybe the friend isn’t really what we thought at the beginning. The beginning of friendship is through good. But when something bad happens in the midst of that good, the very primitive foundation of friendship is shaken.

The character of friendship changes over time: nothing in the world is unchanging. Friendship is no exception. Time slowly changes us all. We are no longer what we were ten years ago. So it is useless to expect that the friendship will remain the same in the face of the flow of time and all the storms. However, it is true that even if the character of friendship changes, the inner seed remains the same. True friendship is the friendship that lasts even after overcoming all obstacles.

The man who never had friendship in his life never got a real taste of life;

Life is meaningless without a friend: or simply in the language of Cicero,

"Suppose God took you to a place far away, where all your worldly needs would be met, just taken away and the possibility of meeting a human being someday. Do you have to be as strong as steel to survive in such a life?" Won't you lose all the comforts of life by being alone? "