A Hard Decision, Make Peace with Past Decisions

I sat pensively in my favorite coffee shop, a coffee shop that was relatively quiet and there were only a few visitors who came. Yes, this coffee shop is where I can feel a little calm by being able to ignore the noises that always adorn the hustle and bustle of the capital city which often actually makes me even more tired.

At that time after coming home from work, I purposely stopped by to order a glass of my favorite warm coffee, namely coffee latte to accompany my afternoon. Then slowly I tried to close my eyes while drinking it, I took a deep breath while feeling how delicious the aroma of the coffee I ordered was. Suddenly my mind suddenly drifted, again and again I miss the figure of you, the figure I know that will never come back. Maybe I'm too selfish for not being able to see this reality. Because all I know, happiness is you.

And at the same time I'm actually afraid to think about it again, but I'm still trying to strengthen my heart. I closed my eyes again while trying to remember all about you. I still vividly remember that time. Your smile, your shady gaze, your unique laugh, your jokes that make me laugh out loud, your mindset which is sometimes difficult for them to understand but only I understand.

For everything about you, I still remember very well. The days that we pass, all the activities we do together, all the topics we always discuss together, every chat that is not important but becomes so interesting when we discuss it together, the minutes that we pass seem to be moving slowly. Ah you mean so much to me, but unfortunately it seems fate has not let us be united.

If someone says you are bad? I don't think I agree with that statement because for me, you are a good man but you are not the best for me and my life. Because you prefer to leave than having to invite me to fight together to achieve dreams. You have decided to go on an adventure alone, rather than an adventure with me to explore this world which is full of the twists and turns of life.

You'd rather never come back than ask me to patiently wait for you until you've become someone who succeeds. You ordered me to be with another man, if indeed that man was more able to make me happy than with you who are still busy fighting to achieve their dreams. You prefer to leave me now, rather than having to fight the fear that you always imagine that in the future it will hurt me and not be able to make me happy in the future. That's the worry you're so afraid of in this relationship right?

In the past, indeed you and I had a story together. However, it seems that our stories are not brought together to carve a future together. There's nothing wrong here, it's just that maybe the two of us aren't meant to be together. The togetherness that we have gone through in the past 5 years is not a short time to establish a relationship. We are not able to fight fate and the fact is that what we are experiencing is not meant to be together in the future. The encounters that we have experienced so far have been outlined.

Now let's unravel the bonds that have existed so far with a smile. Nothing to regret. The length of the relationship is not the main factor for survival. We need to breathe a lot of air and swallow the fact that we really can't continue the relationship. Too many feelings of sadness and pain that are created require us to step back and take a break from the world of romance. However, you are still someone I should thank. Through the relationship that the two of us live in, I have learned to let go and open my chest to accept reality.

Thank you for being there. Thank you for being an inspiration in my life. Thank you for being my human diary. May we both always be happy and able to raise our faces to challenge the future even though the paths we take are different.